"Happy Valentine's Day, sweetheart! Look, I got you a present." "Oh, Crave, that's so sweet of you, you shouldn't have! It's a... it's a red iPod nano. WTF?" "Yes, it's red, the colour of romance, so whenever you're listening to your MP3s you can remember how much I love you." "Blatantly, you're going to nick it." "True, but whenever I'm using it I can remember how much I love you -- what could be more romantic?"
If this situation sounds like it could well happen in your love life, here are some red gadgets for your perusal. And if you order them today, they should be here in time for the big day next week.
Red iPod nano
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Saint Bono has done much for good causes around the world, but none have benefited from the bland Irish crooner as much as the romantically challenged gadget fan. Last year he launched (Product) Red, a charitable scheme whereby companies give a percentage of their profit from branded red products to the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. One of the biggest names to support the scheme was Apple with this blood-red MP3 player. It's pretty, it's great value and it's a sure-fire hit with your significant other. Who would have thought an Apple product could get any smugger?
Red Motorola Slvr
Also in the (Product) Red scheme, the slim Slvr is now a bargain on pay as you go. You might also be able find a more feminine, and there's the in slightly less-romantic burgundy.
Casio Exilim EX-S770
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Attractive and slim, the EX-S770 offers 7 megapixels and snappy performance, and is available for around the £170 mark. More expensive, but with optical image stabilisation and better image quality is the Olympus µ 750 Digital.
Roberts Gemini 10
For the old-fashioned romantic nerd, this 50s-style red leather digital radio offers a rich sound and simple controls. Yours for £90, guv.
Acer Ferrari 5000
For the truly generous, or those deepest into mid-life crisis, this £1,500 Ferrari-branded laptop carries the faintest whiff of high-speed European glamour. Okay, it's mostly black, but the red piping is slightly romantic. Isn't it?
Love is in the Wi-Fi waves for the next week in Crave, so check back tomorrow for more romantic gifts for geeks. -NH