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Denial of dinner service attack strikes DuBaud household

Vermel has committed what might be called a denial of dinner service attack, and now he must suffer the consequences.

Vermel has committed what might be called a denial of dinner service attack, and now he must suffer the consequences. Yesterday, the kid nuked an old Newton of mine in the microwave, causing the oven to blow and triggering an awesome power surge that made my WaterPik fly out of control. Now, we're both suffering without our TV dinners. Vermel's punishment is to clean the conventional oven, the door of which hasn't been opened since the Reagan administration.

The island nations of Trinidad and Tobago have their hands full with their own bizarre denial of service attacks. My people in the Caribbean tell me that at least two ISPs serving the islands, including Wow.net and InterServ, have been hit by hacker attacks that have slowed their email servers to a crawl.

What's bizarre is that the attacks appear to have originated from a rival ISP in the region. Its director is suspected of having instigated the attacks on his competitors to bolster his own business. Computers have been confiscated and the matter has been turned over to the local magistrates. Egads! Has the ISP business become that nasty?

While we're on the subject of the bizarre, one of my indefatigable agents at CNET received a truly weird email mea culpa from a company called Clickshare this week. In the email, which was sent from an official Clickshare mail server, a former marketing director for the company outlines Clickshare's screw-ups over the past year. He also offers some insight into why Clickshare, which makes micropayment software for Web sites, stumbled: "We were amateurs--people without the experience or profile to negotiate the deals and build the organization," reads the email.

Earlier on Tuesday, the same message appeared briefly on Clickshare's own Web site, but was yanked down. Is this Clickshare's new marketing strategy or a bit of sabotage by an ex-employee? Alas, phone calls to the employee, as well as Clickshare's CEO, were not returned.

I smell a fricasseed rat at Clickshare. Others say they detect the acrid scent of vaporware wafting from Macromedia. Visitors to the MacInTouch Web site are familiar with complaints from users of Macromedia's Freehand Graphics Studio 7 who are ticked off that the suite does not deliver the promised 2.0 version Extreme 3D. Instead users have been getting version 1.0 with a "cardboardware" coupon which ultimately can be redeemed for 2.0. Today, my contacts at Macromedia said version 2.0 will be ready next week and users can expect to see code instead of software very soon. I can expect to see my conventional oven clean by next fall's Comdex at the pace Vermel is going. Mail me a falafel and throw in some rumors while you're at it.