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Crave in Love: Valentine's Day gifts for geeks

Love is a many-splendoured thing, and so is Crave, so we've come up with a selection of trinkets, baubles and gewgaws to ensure you won't be going home alone come 14 February

Here at Crave, we're hopeless romantics at heart. So you can imagine our joy as Valentine's Day approaches. We can't hardly wait for 14 February, our toes curling with anticipation of the moment when all those lovely cards hit the mat. And of course there's the gifts from our loved ones. What do you mean you haven't got gifts? Fear not, for we Cravers are experts on the intricacies of the human heart, and girls and stuff.

Whether you're a guy geek or a girl geek, we have a plethora of technology-twisted suggestions to give your significant other the best darn Valentine's day a geek could have. And of course, if you're -- whisper it -- single, you can still take advantage of our suggestions should you wish to pamper yourself. Or you could sign up for a free profile at Geek2Geek, a dating site for the lonely, the awkward, the socially maladjusted: in other words, us.

Let's kick things off with the I Heart My Geek T-shirt, $12.99 (£6.50) from ThinkGeek and worth every penny. Click through the links for more many-spendoured things. -Rich Trenholm

In the technology world, buying presents for girls is easy. If it's pink, it's for girls. Easy. Hello Kitty logos on the side are a good clue, as well. But if you want to go for the nuclear option this Valentine's day, there's only one choice: Swarovski.

Nothing says class, sophistication and refinement like a bunch of sequins stuck to the side of an otherwise perfectly serviceable product. And there's no reason why your loved one shouldn't look classy, sophisticated and refined when they're away from your manly protection and forced to fend off wrong'uns. Hence Pepperface's limited edition crystal-studded Palm Defender self-defence sprays, available now for $105-$295 (£52-£147).

Anyone coming at your other half will get a faceful of Oleoresin Capsicum and no mistake -- but not before noting how classy, sophisticated and refined their intended victim looks. Coughing, choking and nausea will continue for 35-40 minutes. It's the gift that keeps on giving!

War? What is it good for? Absolutely nothing -- unless it's in 70s toy form. Enter the Action Man Classic Edition. He's looking good for 40, and has been re-issued in retro uniform to celebrate.

Action Man comes kitted out in assorted football kits, but until they roll out a Tranmere Rovers version we're not interested. Various versions are available, but real men will prefer the Para. He comes complete with green fatigues, an SLR rifle and a parachute!

Action Man is available from Hamleys for £39.99. Oh, and he's not a doll, he's an action figure, because he can stand up on his own. Got that?

We heart the 8-Bit Dynamic Life Shirt. The name doesn't sound that romantic, but the concept is sickeningly sweet. You and your lover don a shirt each, which display a row of hearts. More hearts light up the closer you get to each other. Go in for a clinch and you're powered up with the full six hearts, Link-style.

Buy two Dynamic Life Shirts for $24.99 (£12.50) each from ThinkGeek. Or if you're a sad lonely singleton, buy one shirt and a transmitter brick for $11.99 (£6.00) that you can put next to your flatscreen television for when you feel like hugging Chun Li.

If the daily grind has seen you lose that lovin' feelin', maybe it's time for a swim in Lake You. Yes, a little alone time for you and your significant other to reconnect your intimacy, realign your chakras, and possibly get it on like rabbits. If you don't fancy any of the geek holiday destinations lovingly handpicked by us Cravers, there's always a trip to Mobile World Congress, the mobile phone trade show taking place in romantic Barcelona on 11-14 February 2008.

Take a stroll through the medieval Barri Gotic district, marvel at the misunderstood genius of Antoni Gaudí, and get a look at the latest phones -- including the just-announced Samsung Soul. What more could a couple want? If you're very lucky, you may even catch a glimpse of a lovelorn Andrew Lim, penning Valentines to his true love: mobile phones, that is.

Photo: Sergi Larripa

Girls like the personal touch. A painstakingly-selected mix tape says 'I love you' better than any amount of expensive jewellery -- at least we think that's how it works. Anyway, the equivalent in the MP3 age is the USB memory stick, which isn't very sexy, but you can still capture the 80s seduction magic with the USB Mix Tape.

The 64Mb stick comes in a High Fidelity-style retro tape case, and can be bought for £19.95 from Firebox. Here's a suggestion to get you started: She Blinded Me With Science by Thomas Dolby.

Of course, not everybody has a special somebody on Valentine's Day. If you're one of those people, you're lucky. None of the headache of buying sickly trinkets! None of the expense of eating out, or the stress of putting up with someone else's geek habits! Instead, you can spend your money and time on yourself, and get a Valentine's gift just for you. Like the Tesla Roadster. It costs a mere $98,000 (£48,000).

Our friends over at SmartPlanet would approve, as the Tesla is the world's first electric supercar. But don't get any ideas about cruising the streets of London in your new Tesla, hoping to pick yourself up a SmartPlaneteer; they're all sickeningly gorgeous and, frankly, way out of your league.

Oh and by the way, do you fancy a drink? No? Suit yourself.