His name is Craig(slist). Daniel Craig(slist).
In a ruling I find a little perplexing, although my ruling is that most of life is a little perplexing, a judge in a Los Angeles Supreme Court left Craigslist stirred and shaken.
They were forced to reveal the name of the dastardly villain who tried to sell two tickets to the Oscars for $2500. Each.
The man only identified himself as Daniel on the site.
Apparently, those who are invited to the splendidly brief and modest affair, are explicitly told that they must not sell their tickets to anyone.
The reason? Thus spake the Academy's attorney, David Quinto: "If you don't know who's inside the theater, it's very difficult to provide security."
I am concerned about the security of this argument. And not just because when I'm in the 3.30 showing of Mamma Mia at the Metreon, how do I know who's in there with me?
It appears the Academy feels secure if some actor or cinematographer has a few too many and swings a fist or seven at Sean Penn, Daniel Craig or some wizard who had to light Michael Douglas's close-up.
But they fear that, if sold, the tickets might fall into the hands of, oh, i don't know, eco-terrorists protesting the carbon footprint of The Matrix trilogy. Or, perhaps, a Serbian documentary maker who wants to prove that Jude Law's hair in fact began its life on a three-year-old sprinter at Belmont Park. Or, even worse, a fan.
Is it not possible that certain invitees give away their tickets anyway?
To friends, acquaintances, fellow agitators or folks on the street (couldn't you imagine Daniel Day-Lewis doing just that? Hey, he's DANIEL Day-Lewis, right? No, it couldn't be. He would have found a much more fun Craigslist name than Daniel.)?
Here we might have some poor soul who had, perhaps, not enjoyed producers' graces for a while. Perhaps he had not been nominated for the fourteenth consecutive year. Perhaps all he wanted was five grand with which to drown his sorrows and to enjoy the company of his few remaining friends.
But, no, now he is going to be accused of attempting to aid trespass to the event.
Hollywood makes movies about trespassers all the time. They walk into parties, get the girl and annoy her boyfriend. They are heroes.
Which makes me wonder. Is this a secret scheme on the part of some inspired Oscar-winning producer to have Daniel Craig(slist) convicted and then make a movie out of his story?
Today, the Academy's attorney admitted that it now knows who Daniel really is.
Perhaps the inspired producer has already to decided to cast Jack Nicholson in the role of a down and out sound editor, who once had everyone's ear, but then fell on hard times, hit the bottle, lost his family, and walked the streets, until he had to pawn his final treasured possession, the tux he always used to wear to the Oscars. Joan Allen has, perhaps, been lined up play his ex-wife.
Just like the judge's order to Craigslist, it will be a morality tale.