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Amazon replaces Alexa with stars in Super Bowl ad

Commentary: After Alexa loses her voice -- and Jeff Bezos starts to worry -- Amazon reveals its replacements, who include Cardi B and Rebel Wilson.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


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It's hard work replacing Alexa.

Amazon/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

How does Amazon solve a problem?

By throwing money at it.

I deduce this from its full-length Super Bowl ad, released Wednesday, which features a veritable plethora of stars. 

Should you be unaccountably indifferent to Amazon's charms, you might not know that last week it released a teaser to this ad

In it, CEO Jeff Bezos is stressing out after Alexa has lost her voice.

His staff assures him that replacements are ready.

At the time, I speculated whether the company would choose a bunch of cloned Justin Timberlakes. Or perhaps a whole army of Bezos Mini-Mes. 

I was close.

For here are an abusive Gordon Ramsay, a sarcastic Cardi B, an alluring Rebel Wilson, and a threatening Anthony Hopkins taking on Alexa's duties.

Some might think the chef, the rapper and the actors aren't quite ready for Amazon primetime.

Wilson, for example, resorts to quasi-erotic humor. Yes, there's a bush joke and I'm not referring to George W. 

Ramsay just tosses invective, as a poor 32-year-old man tries to cook a grilled cheese sandwich to perfection.

Cardi B, though, has principles. She's not going to play country music, no matter how much an Amazon Echo-owner might insist.

Naturally, Alexa recovers just in time.

In a statement, Amazon said: "It was all just a bad nightmare."

I'm not sure what a good nightmare looks like. 

However, I think it would be charming if, at least on certain days, I had a star on call to solve my every issue.

"Hey, Alexa. Or, excuse me, Anthony Hopkins playing Alexa. What sort of wine would go well with my, um, steak dinner?"

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