The lovely thing about Facebook is that it saves so much time. Why bother to call anyone or make arrangements to actually see them face to face when you can slap something on their Facebook page and, voila, we're friends?
Perhaps the management at Cookies in Leigh, in the cold, forbidding north of the United Kingdom, are busy people. Because, according to a deeply felt description in the Daily Mail, they decided to fire one of their workers by leaving her a message on Facebook.
It seems that Chelsea Taylor, a 16-year-old Saturday worker at this no doubt salubrious cafe, was sent out on an errand to get some, well, cookies for the hard-working staff, according to the story. Why a cafe would not have cookies, I am not too sure. Why a cafe called Cookies would not have cookies sends my mind into a world that was last accurately described by James Joyce.
Sadly, it appears that Taylor managed to lose the 10-pound note that the smart cookies gave her for the cookie purchase. Ten pounds (roughly $15) buys you quite a few cookies, even of the somewhat overpriced McVities milk chocolate digestives which are, perhaps, some of the most evil, delightful things ever created by British culinary mass production.
Still, it doesn't appear that any misgivings were offered to Taylor by the painfully hungry Cookies management until she logged on to Facebook at home.
A message from the manager of Cookies, Elaine Sutton, according to the Mail, read: "hiya Chelsea its Elaine from work. Sorry to send u a message like this but bin tryin to ring u but gettin no joy. I had to tell the owner bout u losin that tenner coz obviously the till was down at the end of day. she wasn't very pleased at all and despite me trying to persuade her otherwise she said I have to let u go. I'm really sorry."
At least that's what most of it read. For the remainder may I force you to take the remainder of the day off for emotional reasons. Sutton wrote, according to the Mail story: "I'm really sorry. If you call in in the week with your uniform I'll sort your wages out. Once again I'm really sorry but it's out of my hands. Elaine xx."
I am sure there is more to the story than this heartfelt, focused message might offer, although Cookies refused to comment. The Mail reported that Taylor's mom offered to replace the delinquent banknote. And Sutton does say in her sweet missive that she tried to contact Taylor by phone. Might she have left a voice mail?
However, I am finding it difficult to continue to function in a recognizable manner as I contemplate that this manageress fired someone on Facebook and then put kisses at the end of her message.
Some might feel that this is a very human step forward. Facebook, they might say, allows people to behave in a more friendly manner towards each other. It creates an atmosphere of informality. It strips away status as well as that nuisance called privacy.
But what kind of logic might Sutton have endured in order to think she could fire someone on Facebook, claim it's not her doing and then offer a Brando-like kiss or two for good measure?
It certainly gives a whole new modern, socially networked meaning to the concept of the kiss-off.