The F70 is aimed at playing movies while you're on the go, courtesy of a giant 17.3-inch high-definition screen. The 1080p display is complemented by Altec Lansing surround-sound speakers for HD audio, with an HDMI port for feeding to an even bigger telly.
The styling is inspired by the Aurora Borealis -- okaayyyy -- with a brushed metal finish to the lid. You type on a chiclet keyboard. Chiclet is foreign and means 'word we made up instead of just saying the keys are concave'.
Here's the important bits: inside is an Intel Core 2 Duo Processor and up to 4GB of DDRII 800MHz RAM. 802.11b/g/n wireless gets you on the Web, with optional Bluetooth v2.1 also offered. Outside there are four USB ports.
The Express Gate feature, pictured, allows you to access common features almost instantaneously, without Windows' lengthy booting shenanigans. Clicking on the Express Gate menu gets you browing the Web, listening to music or Skyping Auntie Fenella in Nova Scotia before you can say, "Hang on, I don't have an Auntie Fenella in Nova Scotia."
The Asus F70 will start from £860 and is on shelves and online now.