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Apple's desperate attempt to make iPhone 7 Plus exciting

Commentary: In a new Apple ad, we're in a flagging New Orleans barbershop. Until, that is, someone has a brilliant idea.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


Business is so simple.

Apple/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

When all people can think about is the iPhone 8 -- and when I say "people," I mean, of course, the tech media -- it's hard to make the iPhone 7 Plus seem even vaguely interesting.

Apple's last attempt was to suggest you use it to become obsessed with your lover.

On Monday, it released another ad with another extreme promise: the iPhone 7 Plus will save your business.

Here we are in a New Orleans barbershop. Business isn't booming. Until, that is, a bright young spark has a magical idea -- photograph your customers with iPhone 7 Plus's portrait mode and hang the blown-up results in the window.

Suddenly, everyone in town wants to have their head examined and transformed by these talented artists.

Who would have imagined this level of enterprise could be brought to you by a simple phone? Who could have conceived that such a flock of humanity would be attracted by photos in a barbershop window?

This is modern business being enacted at an extremely exalted level.

Either that, or it's Apple offering a little intermission entertainment in the hope that you won't become too restless.

Sadly, this intermission might last a while. One report last month suggested the new iPhone 8 might be delayed two months. Worse, a few days ago there were portents of a shortage of phones even when it is released.

No wonder people are getting themselves more outlandish haircuts in order to make themselves look exciting.

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