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Samsung mercilessly mocks Apple's last 10 years

Commentary: In a new ad, Samsung returns to the attack on Apple, as it laughs at the iPhone. Even the iPhone X's infamous notch.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


This is the look for all iPhone X aficionados. You didn't know?

Samsung/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

You didn't think that Samsung was going to let the iPhone X party go on without at least trying to turn the music down, did you?

Periodically, Samsung has enjoyed cocking a snook at what it sees is Apple's lateness to almost every cellphone party going. And then there's all that painful Apple cult behavior. Once the Church of Appleology gets a grip on you, it's hard to break free.

On Sunday, therefore, the Korean phone maker released an ad that suggested the iPhone has been a retrograde product for the last 10 years.

Just, you know, to celebrate the arrival of the latest late phone, the X.

Here, we stroll through phone history, since the first iPhone launched.

It's all seen through the eyes of an Apple fanperson who just hasn't seen the light for so many years, even when it was shining right into his eyes.

The iPhone struggled with storage capabilities and the lack of a stylus and a big screen. For the longest time, it wasn't water-resistant.

Even the woman whom our hero adores had a Samsung Galaxy, while he still labored in his love for the iPhone.

Then Apple made it worse when the iPhone 7 came along. It forced him to use dongles -- those extra bits that you'll use, lose and spend even more money replacing.

His lover had wireless charging. The Apple fanperson had, well, cables and dongles.

Finally, in 2017, he understands that love means getting the same phone as the one who makes your heart beat faster and lives life dongle-free.

At last he's a happy man. He walks along the street, as his former cult members wait in line for the iPhone X.

One of those waiting has, oh, a haircut shaped like the iPhone X's infamous notch -- the unsightly black bar at the top of the screen.

Goodness, does he look silly.

Our man walks on. He's finally free from the Appleology cult. He has finally, the ad wants you to believe, grown up.

Apple didn't immediately respond to a request for comment.

Of course, Samsung has cherry-picked the moments that suit it best here. Still, many have felt that Apple waits to see how others implement new technology and then "perfects" it.

"Upgrade to Galaxy," says the ad. I fear, though, that relatively few these days switch from one ecosystem to another. That's certainly been the opinion of those phone salespeople I've recently talked to.

The reviews for iPhone X have largely been gushing. The lines to get one were long, at least in most places.

Which means that Samsung simply wants to make sure you won't forget it, as the hype springs eternal for its rival.

"The Church of Appleology is a con," Samsung pleads at the street corner.

How many, though, can really be saved?

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