Galaxy Z Flip 4 Preorder Quest 2: Still the Best Student Internet Discounts Best 55-Inch TV Galaxy Z Fold 4 Preorder Nintendo Switch OLED Review Foldable iPhone? 41% Off 43-Inch Amazon Fire TV
Want CNET to notify you of price drops and the latest stories?
No, thank you

LG MFJM53: Embalmer's delight?

This is the new LG MFJM53 MP3 player. But what's that? Undertakers are already preparing MFJM53-sized coffins? Is that an omen of good luck?

If this LG MFJM53 MP3 player is an iPod killer, then why do we have a carton of embalming fluid ready for its arrival? The embalmer never lies. In this day and age, the iPod killer soon becomes the iPod killed. RIP MFJM53, and you're not even born yet. Harsh words? Prejudiced even? Unabashed sullying of a fine product that has every chance of slaying the iPod? Mark our words.

Let's go back to school. LG, take a seat and listen. First off, you've called this MP3 player the MFJM53. Who in their right mind will recall that name? You can imagine the scenario. A kid, who for the purposes of this demonstration we will call Timmy, walks into Dixons. Timmy is well excited. Timmy is going to buy himself an MP3 player. He's seen the LG MFJM53 online and this is the player he wants. Now we join Timmy in the shop:

"Hello, I would like the LG MFX9... er, LG MFJE... er, the LG MFJ8... argghhh! Give me an iPod."

Timmy is plainly too distressed to recall LG's ambiguous product naming conventions. The iPod has won, and we haven't even got to the specs yet. The marketing strategy of these iPod rivals is staggering. It's as if they don't even want to play the game. Apple's ready in the starting blocks, but LG forgot its PE kit.

The LG MFJM53 is an 8GB hard disk-based player with a 45mm, 206,000-colour OLED screen. There's 'Index Finger Navigation', which, if it's anything like the index-finger navigation systems we've seen on other players, will be slightly more fun than chewing glass. Please LG, research and develop your own Clickwheel like Sonos did, for the love of generic deity unaffiliated with any specific religious doctorine.

LG claims 30 hours of playback, and according to the LG site, there's a 'Music Theraphy' (sic) feature on this player. Presumably this is a counselling facility for when you discover there's no Clickwheel on the LG MFJM53. Expect a full autopsy, oops, we mean review, soon. -CS