Dear White House: Please bring back Flappy Bird
A fan of the late, lamented game wants the White House to order its return. But only a few signatures have popped up on the petition so far.
President Obama may have to contend with budget crises, economic woes, health care snafus, and international conflicts. But those are nothing compared to the greatest threat now facing the world -- the demise of Flappy Bird.
The popular game met an early expiration date on Sunday when its developer pulled the plug over worries that it was too addictive. Some of those who never got a chance to flap their wings have since turned to knockoffs, but one Flappy Bird fanatic thinks the government needs to step in to solve the problem.
In a White House petition launched Thursday, a person known only as D.S. is asking the Obama administration to bring back Flappy Bird and "save the millions who have lost their game or have yet to start playing."
The cause may be noble...or maybe not. Either way, the petition hasn't drummed up much interest, at least not yet. Of the 100,000 signatures needed by March 15, only 11 appear so far. To become publicly searchable on WhiteHouse.gov, a petition has to pick up 150 signatures. And then it needs the full 100,000 to trigger a response from the White House.
Sadly, even if the petition reaches its goal, there is one snafu. The developer of Flappy Bird, Dong Nguyen, lives in Vietnam. So I don't think an edict from the White House would have much sway on him. Still, it's the thought that counts.
As seen below, the full petition pleads the case in no uncertain terms.
Flappy Bird, also known as the devil's game and apocalypse, suffered an untimely death. The game has been described as causing suicidal thoughts and has caused the destruction of millions of mobile devices. People have lost their wives, children, homes, and jobs.
So why bring back Flappy Bird you ask?
Because it is an addiction like no other. I am fortunate enough to still be playing Satan's game. Every time I lose my eyes burn like a thousand suns but I'm happy that I can feel such tremendous emotion.
I want everyone to be able to experience such emotional magnitude.
Bring the power back to the people. Let them choose whether they want to spend every waking moment trying to get through those tubes of horror with this mangled and deformed bird.
No copycat can match this game.