The world rejoices: A new Kim Kardashian video game
Who needs the World Cup, when you can enjoy the seething anticipation of a video game in which Kim Kardashian comes to your rescue?
The world is going through enormous turmoil.
More Americans than ever are watching the World Cup, Harley-Davidson has bowed to alleged progress by developing an electric bike, and Kanye West hasn't said he's the next Steve Jobs in the last 24 hours.
At times like this, we, like Kanye, need Kim Kardashian to come to the rescue.
I am as relieved as I am excited, therefore, that there is to be a new video game featuring the great icon of iconness.
For today, YouTube has been adorned with the news that there is to be a new video game called "Kim Kardashian: Hollywood."
I am not sure if this title is to differentiate it from "Kim Kardashian Is Clothed: Knock On Wood," or "Kim Kardashian Sings: Not Very Good."
As much as I can muster from this stunning tease, in this game you can join Kimmy on a "Celebrity Adventure." I cannot guarantee that this will involve slapping a paparazzo, but it surely would be fun and very much in keeping with the video game genre.
You can also "create your own star with hundreds of style options."
But most importantly -- at least if you're the sort of gamer who enjoys these games (and I understand there are many of them) -- you can "hit the hottest clubs, flirt and fall in love!"
Honestly, who doesn't want to hit the hottest clubs, flirt and fall in love? It surely beats shooting a couple of thousand foreign soldiers, ransacking several cities, or running over pimps in your vast red car -- all things one sees in other games.
The challenge in this game is: "Can you make the A-list?" This is also far more edifying than: "Can you make that vast spaceship list to starboard and fall out of the sky like a drunken rock star who's seen better days?
At the end of this little video, Kimmy offers: "I'm so excited." She just can't hide it. And you're about to lose control, because you think you like it.
Wait, what happened there? Oh, yes. I was just about to muse that, according to the great Nikki Finke, ratings for the Kardashians reality show are falling to the earth beneath her Louboutins.
Perhaps this game will put her back atop the A-list of style influencers and life coaches where she belongs.