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Crave Talk: Google Fight ends all argument

If you want to prove your point but don't have the reasoning skills to do so, why not simply turn to Google Fight to solve all your real-life disputes?

Here's the truth. digg is better than Slashdot, and I can prove it using a highly scientific method that can't be disputed. That's right -- digg won fair and square in the gladiatorial battle at the virtual coliseum that is Google Fight.

Okay, I'll admit that the Google Fight isn't new -- it's been around for ages -- but when it comes to settling arguments, there is no finer virtual device available. The principle is simple. Google is never wrong, ergo any fight using it must be true and accurate.

So, what arguments have we solved using it? Well, at our exciting new office we have a choice of a number of delightful lunchtime eateries. One is called Frank's and one is called Rose Tate's. So which should we eat at? Simple, we'll have them duke it out on Google Fight. The winner was Frank's -- and quite right too. Bacon sandwiches all round at Crave.

You can also re-fight battles you might have thought were already resolved. As you can see, I fought the law, and I won. By 3.8 billion to 518 million, in fact.

Obviously, there are more serious battles that need to be sorted. The most common technological debate round these parts is which is better, Apple or Microsoft. Google Fight solves this little scuffle in one swift smackdown. Microsoft is the victor; Apple is knocked unconscious and bleeding on the floor.

But the usefulness of Google Fight goes beyond just solving simple arguments. Let's say, for example, you want to commit to one of the high-definition DVD formats. That means you've got to decide if Blu-ray or HD DVD will ultimately emerge victorious. Let them gouge each others eyes out in the ring, and HD DVD walks away with the crown.

But the last thing to remember is this: Google Fight can bring peace to the world. Instead of one country invading another, the heads of state could simply put their respective countries into Google Fight and whoever emerges victorious has effectively beaten the other, with no bloodshed. It's a shame George Bush didn't think of this before invading Iraq. -Ian Morris