Asus has announced the Eee PC Seashell 1008HA, a lightweight laptop inspired by oysters. We don't know much about it, so we're going to make jokes about Asus' inexplicable new slogans instead
Richard TrenholmFormer Movie and TV Senior Editor
Richard Trenholm was CNET's film and TV editor, covering the big screen, small screen and streaming. A member of the Film Critic's Circle, he's covered technology and culture from London's tech scene to Europe's refugee camps to the Sundance film festival.
It's the Eee PC beach girl! Haven't seen her for a while. But today we have a reason for stretching out beside her on the sand, because Asus has shown off a new Eee PC laptop called the Seashell 1008HA.
Our man on the spot at the Asus press conference at CeBIT in Germany is ZDNet UK's David Meyer. He reveals the Seashell is a slimline Eee with a 92 per cent-size keyboard and multitouch keypad, weighing about 1kg.
In case you were wondering what Eee means, it's not the squeal of delight you emit when seeing how small the little fella is, and nor is it your banshee shriek of despair as your fat fingers mistype 'haemorrhoid' for the thousandth time. It used to stand for the delightfully no-nonsense 'Easy to learn, Easy to work, Easy to play', but as of today means 'Easy, Excellent and Exciting'. Which leads us to surmise Asus is keeping costs down by contracting its marketing to a five-year-old.
Sadly, Asus has also abandoned the truly excellent company motto, 'Rock Solid. Heart Touching', which sounds like a Meat Loaf record from 1985. It's replaced that masterwork of bonkers sloganeering with the utterly meaningless, utterly pointless PR drivel that is 'Inspiring Innovation. Persistent Perfection', which sounds like... well, it sounds like the utterly meaningless, utterly pointless PR drivel that every other tech manufacturer spends thousands thinking up and emblazoning on glossy corporate brochures nobody reads and if anyone does read it they don't believe a word of it. That said, smart use of both alliteration and assonance.
If all this tagline tomfoolery is getting you down, get ready for the majesty that is the Seashell's slogan: 'When pearlescent beauty meets versatility'. Seriously, that's everything we look for in a laptop. Or a ladyboy, for that matter.
No word yet on availability or how much you'll have to shell out, but we'll keep you posted. Apparently, the Eee from the sea was inspired by a seashell. We presume this means if you hold it up to your ear, you can hear the C: drive.