Tall, blond aliens abducted me, says congressional candidate

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

I know I've met aliens.

I just don't know which of the bizarre beings that masquerade as humans they actually were.

Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera has no such qualms. She insists that she's had several encounters with aliens and can describe them.

They are tall, blond and, well, a bit chunky.

And they tend to stretch their arms out wide like the famous statue of Jesus in Rio De Janeiro.

It may be of interest to you that Aguilera is running in a Republican primary for Congress in the Miami area.

As the Miami Herald reported Monday, Rodriguez Aguilera made her claims in two separate videos from 2009. And neither video is exclusive to the Human Reality TV channel so favored by inhabitants of Planet Plim.

Here is one video. Here is another. Frankly, they're moving. Especially if you speak excellent Spanish.

She sounds perfectly rational -- and perfectly in keeping with so many of the space cadets who already inhabit Congress.

You, because you are scientifically minded, will wonder what else she believes. Well, apparently 30,000 types of non-human skulls are kept in a Maltese cave. And an ancient Egyptian pyramid hides in plain sight in Miami-Dade County. 

I was thinking it was in Las Vegas.

Rodriguez Aguilera didn't immediately respond to a request for comment.

She did, however, tell the Miami Herald: "For years people, including Presidents like Ronald Reagan and Jimmy Carter and astronauts have publicly claimed to have seen unidentified flying objects and scientists like Stephen Hawking and institutions like the Vatican have stated that there are billions of galaxies in the universe and we are probably not alone."

I wish to support her argument. I have heard President Bill Clinton insist that he wouldn't be at all surprised if aliens had visited us. If that isn't a nod and a wink from a man who knows his Area 51, I don't know what is.

Rodriguez Aguilera also told The Washington Post that her past with aliens "has nothing to do with who I am and what I have shown in the past 40 years and what a positive role model I've been to the community."

Still, it's one thing to believe in aliens. It's slightly different to claim to have communed with them since the age of 7 when one was temporarily abducted and taken aboard a spaceship.

But we're talking about Florida here. This is a state where anything goes, anything comes back and anything goes again -- sometimes, no doubt, into the outer reaches of space.

Should Rodriguez Aguilera win, she would represent much of Miami and Miami Beach. I have spent a lot of time there and, having witnessed many things there, I believe Rodriguez Aguilera shouldn't flee from her lifetime of close encounters.

Instead, she should use them in her campaign and insist she's the candidate who will not only bring all Americans together, but all galaxies.

That, to me, is a winning argument.

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