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Say hello to Ramsmobile and its ridiculous, 999-hp 'multipurpose hypercar'

It's bulletproof, it floats, can be fitted with a tank-like track and can even be optioned with bulletproof armor. Did I mention you can get it with an electronic hookah, too?

What the hell...
Andrew Hoyle/Roadshow

Let me start this article about the Ramsmobile RM-X2 by posing the same question the company does on its website: "What do you visualize when you think of the devil?" I'm not exactly sure what to make of Belarus-based Ramsmobile and its... creation that debuted at the Frankfurt Motor Show this week. All I know right now is, this SUV certainly talks a big game.

Ramsmobile says the RM-X2 comes in four models. There's the Ascetic trim, of which the company says, "Performance and style are dedicated to the most extreme type of human nature, directed to survive in this world by solitude, refusing the unneeded comforts, instead sacrificing that for larger discoveries and self-realization." This is, I guess, the most stripped-out version, and Ramsmobile says that, thanks to its carbon-fiber body, the Ascetic RM-X2 tips the scales at just 3,300 pounds.

Then there's the Devil's Touch trim. I'll again let the company speak for itself here: "Luxury and darkness! Technology and mysticism! The content excites the imagination, which is complemented by functionality: a continuous track, wheels up to 20-24 inches, gold trim." Yes, a continuous track -- like on a tank -- measuring 15 inches wide, or if you prefer, a "super-wide," 24-inch option.

Opulent AF.

Andrew Hoyle/Roadshow

The third model is called God's Creation, which the company can't talk about right now because it's coming next year, and finally, there's the Ramsider, which is said to have "the greatest of abilities." Interestingly, despite being headquartered in Belarus, Ramsmobile builds its SUVs in New Mexico. 

Two powertrain options are said to be available, though it's unclear exactly which one achieves the 999-horsepower specification mentioned in the headline. (It's worth mentioning that 999 is "666" turned upside down, which I'm sure is 100% intentional.) A General Motors-sourced, 6.2-liter LT5 V8 gas engine is the first option -- the one from the C7 Corvette ZR1 -- but you can also spec a 6.6-liter Duramax diesel V8, which likely comes from GM's heavy-duty trucks. Interestingly, Ramsmobile lists "EV motor and batteries" on the SUV's spec sheet, leading me to believe there's some sort of plug-in hybrid system going on.

A company representative also said the RM-X2 floats, and that they're working on turning the exhaust into a jet-propulsion system. The underside is also teflon-coated, so mud doesn't stick to anything. Yes, really.

Wheel sizes range from 20 to 24 inches, wrapped in either 38- or 40-inch all-terrain tires.

Andrew Hoyle/Roadshow

What else? The Ramsmobile can be armored to either B6 or B7 levels of bulletproof protection, and the "high rigidity of the body will not allow it to be destroyed in the event of strong blows and coup attempts," according to the company. What's more, "The system supports purified air breathing from the installed bio-warfare station." So that's cool.

And since I'm sure you've got your checkbook out by now, don't forget to spec the smoker's package, which is far, far more than a cigarette lighter and small ashtray. Instead, Ramsmobile fits the RM-X2 with electronic hookahs, which the company says "allow you to control not only the smoking power, but also to cool the smoke to the desired temperature, and save smoking parameters in your personal [infotainment] account."

How much does all this majesty cost? $999,999 (double triple-sixes again) for the base model, though a $3 million special edition is said to be coming soon. That's probably the 2022 Cerberus model listed on the company's website. Ramsmobile doesn't have much to say about that one just yet, only that, "The guardian of souls is coming."

Other ambitions? That Ramsider trim will apparently launch a line of health and wellness equipment in 2021. Oh, and Ramsmobile also says it wants to go to space by 2030 with something called the Ramspace Interplanetary Shuttle RS-X1. I mean, if Elon can do it, anyone can, right?