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Lincoln's Continental can tell when you're walking up, will greet you with open 'arms'

The car's Approach Detection system is all about making the owner feel welcome, using technology that's not necessarily brand spanking new.

Lincoln calls its puddle lamps "welcome mats," even though you can't technically step on photons as you would an actual welcome mat. Is that being too pedantic?

Lincoln

When you buy a luxury car, it's more or less assumed that you want to be coddled a bit. After all, what fun is a 21st-century fancy-pants-mobile if it doesn't offer a bit of panache? Lincoln understands that luxurious feeling luxurious beyond the vehicle, and so it's offering its Approach Detection on its forthcoming 2017 Continental flagship.

While Lincoln has a similar system in its MKC, the Continental's kit takes up a notch. As you get within 8 feet (2.4 meters) of the Conti, exterior puddle lights display a large Lincoln logo on the ground, the door handles glow, and, on certain trims, exterior lighting illuminates sequentially. Check it out in the video embedded below.

Hop inside, and the ambient interior lighting will also engage in sequence (again, if you opt for a higher trim). No matter what model you get, though, your start button will pulse and the auto-folding mirrors will move to the driving position. Yup, it's basically a way to make you feel super-fancy when all you're doing is getting into a stationary vehicle.

If you want to feel what it's like to drink a 55-gallon drum of Lincoln-branded Kool-Aid, take in this ridiculous quote from Ford's "trends and futuring" manager, Sheryl Connelly: "The Lincoln Approach Detection does more than just turn on lights. It allows Continental to welcome you as if arriving at a friend's house for dinner, or checking into a resort. It makes you feel at home where you have everything you need and you are in a serene and familiar space."

I'll stick with the water, thanks.