The Wonder Woman trailer has landed without revealing too much of the plot, but we're absolutely certain none of these Golden Age moments will be included.
If you think your family get-togethers are crazy, you've clearly never spent the holiday on Paradise Island. The Amazons' celebrations, as detailed in a 1943 issue of the comic, involve dressing as deer, then being symbolically hunted, trussed, cooked and served.
... in Wonder Woman #2 because she's too vain to risk tearing her eyelashes out.
In Wonder Woman #28, the quite wonderfully named Eviless called together a bunch of Wonder Woman's enemies to form an alliance against her, Villainy Incorporated. They really don't make villains like they used to.
Apparently, in the early Wonder Woman universe, Adolf Hitler was not only under the thrall of Martians, he also periodically had a "strange impulse" to chew on his floor rug, as seen in Wonder Woman #2.
It was a disguise to infiltrate a circus. Obviously.
As seen in Wonder Woman #1.
In issue #78, Wonder Woman was called upon to help her friend Headmistress Gates win a school basketball game... with the rules set by their opponent, the horrid Mr Scraggs. And this is why Wonder Woman had to play baseball with only Andy Gorilla on her team. And only hold the bat in her teeth. (They still won.)
At the end of All-Star Comics 13 in 1942, Wonder Woman was made a permanent honorary member of the Justice Society of America... as a secretary. While the lads all went out and fought crime, she had to stay behind doing secretary things. Apparently, this was just "thrilling."
It's actually creator William Moulton Marston's fault, according to comics blogger Tim Hanley. He wanted to be the only one to write Wonder Woman, so Gardner Fox, writer of All-Star Comics, had to leave her out of the adventures.
In Wonder Woman #90, two millionaires make a bet. The anti-Wonder Woman Scragg bets the pro-Wonder Woman Merriweather that Wonder Woman can't babysit a series of increasingly weird animals. First a baby whale, then a baby elephant and finally a baby Tyrannosaurus rex, because for some reason she thinks settling ridiculous bets between millionaires is a worthwhile use of her time.
Wonder Woman's rogues' gallery is superb, not least because of Cheetah, the wealthy Priscilla Rich who made her costume out of a cheetah-skin rug to let her repressed desires flow freely. In Sensation Comics #22, Cheetah captures Wonder Woman and makes her dance, which Wonder Woman does poorly as a ruse to lure Cheetah into trying to do better.
As seen in Comic Cavalcade #1, the Nazis really can't tell the difference between Wonder Woman and a pile of hams.