These 'Star Wars' products are all wrong (pictures)
Sarlacc pit toilet transformation
"Star Wars" merchandise isn't all just action figures and drinking glasses. It's also about accidentally obscene C-3PO tape dispensers and Wookiee-fur-lined shoes. Give in to the power of the WTF Force by turning your boring old toilet into a life-threatening sarlacc pit. These decals quickly turn your flusher into a gaping hole of doom like was seen in "Return of the Jedi." It's so wrong and yet so right. The sarlacc in your toilet will cost you $25 (about £16, AU$35).
Give in to the dark side of "Star Wars" merchandising with these faux-fur-lined Crocs featuring a bandolier design and Chewbacca's face on the outside. They come in a funky shade of brown and may be one of the oddest pieces of Wookiee-inspired clothing ever created. The adult version of the shoe goes for $59.99 (about £39, AU$84); the kids' version is $20 (about £13, AU$28) cheaper.
Photo by: Crocs
Jar Jar Binks tongues a Pez
The almost universally reviled Jar Jar Binks from the "Star Wars" prequels is a hard character to market. This oddball Pez dispenser doesn't help matters. The battery-operated device plops a Pez out onto Jar Jar's outstretched tongue. So if you like your candy with Gungan spit on it, you're in luck. An Amazon reviewer notes: "This is disturbing to my children." These dispensers aren't current products, but you can still find one on Amazon for $31 (about £20, AU$43)
Photo by: BuyBradsBest/Amazon
Darth Vader your feet
There's a surprising amount of "Star Wars"-related footwear out there, including these $39.95 (about £26, AU$56) Darth Vader slippers with large protruding Sith heads on them. Weird-products retailer Hammacher Schlemmer gets bonus points for this description: "The fires that fuel Darth Vader’s internal torment project an air of ferocity that forces out the cold, ensuring that the warmth will be with you."
Photo by: Hammacher Schlemmer
On the surface, this Chewbacca rug looks cozy and fun. You just want to lay on it and dream about taking out the Death Star. But let's look closer. To make this rug, someone would have to skin a Wookiee, poach its bandolier and then have the gumption to display it in a home, flaunting the horrifying act. The rug starts at $99.99 (about £65, AU$140) from ThinkGeek.
"Star Wars" was big in the '70s. Lava lamps were big in the '70s. Why not put the two together? It happened with these "Star Wars" motion lamps that simultaneously evoke the awesome cutting power of a lightsaber and the groovy get-down power of a lava lamp. It's perfect for your "Empire Strikes Back"/"Saturday Night Fever" crossover home decor theme. It will set you back $29.99 at ThinkGeek (about £20, AU$42), but it will go great with all your black light posters.
Photo by: ThinkGeek
Sexy Stormtrooper costume
Stormtrooper costumes are way cool, unless they're this particular Stormtrooper costume. The mediocre reviews combined with the platform-high-heels-wearing model make for a head-scratching cosplay experience. It definitely won't pass inspection with the 501st. If you still want one, the costume starts at $42 (about £27, AU$59).
Photo by: Rubie's Costume/Amazon
C-3PO in a compromising position
Is that a piece of tape or are you just happy to see me? This C-3PO tape dispenser shows evidence of painfully poor design decisions. It came out around 1980 and has the power to make any "Star Wars" fan giggle. This particular dispenser was sold on eBay by user gold-555 for an unknown final price (others at auction have gone for around $100, or £65, AU$140). You'll have to hunt around to find one of these rarities for your own collection.
Photo by: gold-555
"Star Wars," the Christmas album
You survived the "Star Wars" holiday special, so why not try your hand at the Christmas album? Songs like "What Can You Get a Wookiie for Christmas" and "Christmas in the Stars" will spread sci-fi-tinged holiday cheer to your waiting ears. You can even buy it on vinyl starting at $39.95 (about £26, AU$56). Since it's a collectible at this point, even a cassette tape will cost you over $30 (about £20, AU$42).
Photo by: Amazon
Bite the dark side
Back in 2012, European restaurant chain Quick introduced a set of "Star Wars" burgers. A choice between a Jedi Burger and a Dark Burger lets you decide what side of the Force to eat on. There was even a "Dark Vador" burger with a black bun inspired by the Sith's costume.