Every year we go to the IFA tech trade show in Berlin, and every year we see bigger demonstrations of corporate wealth and visitor stupidity. We thought we'd share some of the more interesting sights we saw from this year's visit, concluding with a photo of one of Crave's writers eating an enormous sausage. Be prepared: it was twice the size of his head.
But first, we present you with the photograph above. Since freak shows are illegal these days, Vodafone offered the next best thing: a grown man playing air guitar with a giant inflatable instrument, and a pelvic bulge of questionable girth. He was one of many guests offered the chance to compete in Vodafone's air-guitar competition, during which other passers by got to have a hearty giggle at each contestant.
Up next, what happens when a man with a beard meets a lady with a razor.
If you're a man, you probably grow facial hair. Here's a man removing his in front of hundreds of journalists, and a lady from Philips.
This is a climbing wall -- a wall essentially built for climbing, hence the name. T-Mobile brought this one, presumably because phones aren't very big and it'd ordered a large booth.
If you're going to show off kitchen appliances, you're going to need a woman, and that woman's going to need fingers. This one is showing off how many remain on the hand she isn't inserting into a blender. Clever.
Now this is something you don't see every day: a look-how-energy-efficient-our-TV-is demo. Showing off its efficiency was a Samsung telly.
This was Samsung's dorkiness challenge in full swing. The premise was simple: who can look the dumbest in 3D glasses. All contestants won joint first prize, because it's impossible not to look like a total goon.
Samsung was keen to make its booth look like the most expensive booth at any tech show ever. To help, it brought along these massive hanging walls of televisions to suspend above visitors.
3D TVs were the big thing at IFA this year, and around every corner was a company thrusting dorky glasses on to peoples' faces to show off how good theirs was.
Look out, you're falling into a pit of balls! This unusual demonstration of human stupidity was put on by Casio to promote its Exilim range of cameras. Quite how this helped is anyone's guess.
The recession hit some sports teams hard, with as many as two football players made redundant every arbitrary number of weeks. To help pay for the women they signed up to shower with gifts, some took jobs at trade shows so geeks could take photos of them.
Another massive display of TVs. This time, LG TVs. But only Big Brother was on, so LG played something more interesting: a video of empty rooms full of chairs and tables.
The IFA 2009 BMX Competition was well underway by Sunday. Little did the competition know that it itself was an entrant in a contest: IFA 2009's Most Out of Place Attraction. It won.
This train set was erected by Sony to aid its demonstration of one of many new models of dSLR cameras.
Entertainment at IFA comes in many flavours. In this mysterious -- and small -- room, Japanese drummers can be seen deafening a crowd.
Sadly, IFA is open to the public, and that means you'll spot the odd child. This one wasn't being told off for playing, but rather being given a demo of a new Acer laptop. Don't underestimate the spending power of children('s parents).
More food-related treats were in store for journalists passing this colourful booth.
We leave you with a shot of yours truly holding the floppiest, most enormous of German hotdogs. Full review of the sausage coming soon.
The most beautiful phone ever has one wildly annoying issue
he Samsung Galaxy S8's fast speeds and fantastic curved screen make it a top phone for 2017, but the annoying fingerprint reader could sour your experience.