Not content with selling puzzle machines to half the world's geriatrics, Nintendo is ruthlessly hunting down the more decrepit half with a giant new DSi. Wonderfully, the DSi XL is so massive that even the most squinty-eyed codger will be able to see a word and yell what colour it is. Europe's old timers can get their papery hands on it on 5 March, but we got the chance to have a play with the Japanese version.
Now, our understanding of Japanese is frankly Shizuoka, so we apologise if we have no idea what the Hokkaido is going on in this 'early review'. We're just going to prod it and see what happens. We can tell you that the ginormous hardware is identical to the European version, with its 107mm (4.2-inch) screens, SD card slot and dual cameras.
It's available to pre-order in the repulsive colours of dark brown and wine red (pictured) and will take £160 out of your pension. That's 32 tins of Werther's Originals, or five cardigans from M&S.
You can read our full review of the Nintendo DSi that all those young people have, with their clothes and the hair. And the music! If you can call it that. They don't know they're born.
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