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Best 'worst' Google Voice transcription errors--screenshots

We asked you for the funniest erroneous transcriptions to come out of Google Voice's free voice-to-text service. Here are your hilarious examples.

Jessica Dolcourt
Jessica Dolcourt is a passionate content strategist and veteran leader of CNET coverage. As Senior Director of Commerce & Content Operations, she leads a number of teams, including Commerce, How-To and Performance Optimization. Her CNET career began in 2006, testing desktop and mobile software for Download.com and CNET, including the first iPhone and Android apps and operating systems. She continued to review, report on and write a wide range of commentary and analysis on all things phones, with an emphasis on iPhone and Samsung. Jessica was one of the first people in the world to test, review and report on foldable phones and 5G wireless speeds. Jessica began leading CNET's How-To section for tips and FAQs in 2019, guiding coverage of topics ranging from personal finance to phones and home. She holds an MA with Distinction from the University of Warwick (UK).
Jessica Dolcourt
GVflub_PickUpMyArm.png
1 of 8 Screenshot by Jessica Dolcourt/CNET

Pick up my arm

We asked you for the funniest erroneous transcriptions to come out of Google Voice's free voice-to-text service, and your hilarious examples poured in through e-mail and comments.

Like this reader, whose message, "Why aren't you picking up?" became the retort you see here.

Check out more Google Voice transcription mishaps in the comments thread, or add your own.

GVflub_SterilizeWoodstock.png
2 of 8 Screenshot by Jessica Dolcourt/CNET

Sterilize Woodstock

Unfortunately, this reader's caller wasn't able to follow through on his or her promise. We hope our reader didn't take the letdown too personally. Nobody can sterilize Woodstock.

Check out more Google Voice transcription mishaps in the comments thread, or add your own.

GVflub_Bastard.png
3 of 8 Screenshot by Jessica Dolcourt/CNET

Not so Fastpass

"My wife and I were in Disney World on our first trip without our three daughters. She was getting Fastpasses at one ride while I checked out the line at another ride. I had told her to call my Google Voice number, that way if I didn't answer I would see her message as a text on my iPhone. Much to my surprise, I looked down at my phone and saw:

"In fact, bastard what."

This was one of my first text messages from Google Voice, so I thought it was some sort of odd joke. It turns out my wife had actually said: "I got the Fastpasses." It gave us a good laugh."

Check out more Google Voice transcription mishaps in the comments thread, or add your own.

GVflub_ThisIsACon.png
4 of 8 Screenshot by Jessica Dolcourt/CNET

Freudian slip?

Google Voice was nearly spot on in this transcription. Except for one tiny, yet crucial instance when the software converted the Google PR rep's name into the words "this is a con."

Check out more Google Voice transcription mishaps in the comments thread, or add your own.

GVflub_ShipSober.png
5 of 8 Screenshot by Jessica Dolcourt/CNET

Ship sober

We like our prescription medication shipped sober, too.

Check out more Google Voice transcription mishaps in the comments thread, or add your own.

GVflub_WhosPaul2.png
6 of 8 Screenshot by Jessica Dolcourt/CNET

Who's Paul?

Our reader's wife has apparently had one too many in the Bright Star Bar because the couple doesn't know anyone named Paul.

Interestingly, this wasn't the only mistranslation to produce "Bright Star." Unless everyone's talking about the movie, something erroneous is afoot.

Check out more Google Voice transcription mishaps in the comments thread, or add your own.

GVflub_Russian.png
7 of 8 Screenshot by Jessica Dolcourt/CNET

Fluency

This story proves that Google Voice's transcription engine deserves an "A" for effort. And an "F" for Russian.

Check out more Google Voice transcription mishaps in the comments thread, or add your own.

GVflub_MacPollution.png
8 of 8 Screenshot by Jessica Dolcourt/CNET

Mac and pollution

Our reader's wife's message about picking up their son from preschool. The take-home meaning is clear: I'll just tell you all about it later.

Check out more Google Voice transcription mishaps in the comments thread, or add your own.

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