40 embarrassing things you can buy on Amazon

Here's some of the strangest and most embarrassing stuff you buy on Amazon right now.

For starters: Yes, this suit is super cool. But when are you going to wear this? No, really, when are you going wear this? 

Sure, you could buy a normal cat brush. Or you could buy this synthetic Licki tongue brush that lets you clean your cat as if you were a feline yourself.

Amazon has no shortage of bizarre and embarrassing garden gnomes -- but these are the only ones wearing leather outfits and giving you the finger. 

As Guy might say, this sleeveless tank is money. It's vaguely cheese-colored, too.

"Damn bro. You just got swole, bro."

"Thanks bro. Pretty sweet, huh, bro?"

"Yeah, bro. What's your secret, bro? Got a new trainer, bro?"

"Nah, bro. Just bought these sweet guns on Amazon."

For when your culinary skills begin and end at "keeping yourself alive."

You're thinking about them. You want other people to know you're thinking about them. Butts. 

Because no one wants acne, especially on their butt.

If you own this book, it's probably because someone who really doesn't like you got it for you. 

It's one thing to be that person who owns 12 cats. It's entirely another to craft a brand-new cat from the fur of your existing cats.

Yes, friendship is magic. But wearing this shirt in public is... maybe not. 

There's nothing inconspicuous about this plunger. Which we kinda love.

Who needs a real partner when you can just cozy up to this cleverly designed pillow that hugs you back?

The name of this shower curtain design is "Miss You, Mr. Goldblum," though it's not clear exactly what happened to the veteran actor, or what his relationship is to the dog pictured.

Fanny packs are embarrassing enough, but this "beer gut" print takes the cringe to a whole new level.

No, the model dunking herself in 55 gallons of lubricant is not included.

As wonderful (?) as a high-powered butt-scrubbing device may sound, the Roto Wipe is not a real product. It's an empty gag gift box designed to embarrass the hell out of whoever unwraps it.

It's time to get creative... with cat butts.

This sequined pillow is an honest-to-goodness National Treasure.

It's not, bro. 

If you're making a meringue (or just a healthy egg-white omelet), this egg separator will really come in handy. But why does the egg white have to come out of this guy's nose as snot, though? 😧

There's nothing embarrassing about dressing up your dog... probably. But if you're so obsessed that you need to buy your dog neckties in bulk -- such as this collection of 30 different dog ties for $20 -- that's another story.

Where to begin with this nightmare? The zipper chest? The hair?

The less you think about where peoples' hands have been, the better.

Embarrassing... or empowering? You make the call.

You may have noticed there are a lot of cats in this gallery. Don't get us wrong: There's nothing embarrassing about cats themselves or cat ownership.

That said, if you're getting your tissues from the butt of a plaster cat, it may be time to reassess your life and how, exactly, you got to this point.

Ever wonder just how gross the inside of your ears really are? This 720p HD camera with lights will fill you in on all the waxy details for just $26.

Did your kid bring home a top-notch report card? Got a new baby picture from the family out west? Stick it to the fridge with a dog butt!

Meow yow yow! This one's available in a lot of different designs, too, in case you want an alpaca, owl or corgi on your drawers.

This lemon toilet spray is designed to stop the smell before it even happens.

The Squatty Potty is one of the most famous inventions to ever score a deal on ABC's Shark Tank. It's also a surprisingly satisfying tool for bathroom time.

Amazon reviewers say this "Anti Monkey Butt Powder," a mix of calamine powder and cornstarch, keeps "breast rash" away in the summertime. It comes bundled with "Fresh Breasts" deodorant lotion.

If you've never twerked in a pair of shiny gold hot pants, well... here's your chance.

There are some questions as to whether these underwear-mounted charcoal filters actually keep the full sulfurous stink at bay -- "Subtle Butt" is more of a gag gift than anything else.

There's nothing embarrassing about good hygiene, of course. But just try asking for these wipes by name at your local supermarket. We dare you.

Are you looking to do some day drinking at the game, but you're worried security will confiscate your flask before you get in? We guarantee they won't be examining these.

A little bit of embarrassment scraping your tongue now can save you a lot of embarrassment from bad breath later.

Again, as embarrassing as it may be to buy these pads to soak up all your excess underarm sweat, it's probably less embarrassing than the gigantic stains you'd get on your clothes without them.

"Tea, chamomile, large poop." Captain Jean-Luc Picard after several backed-up days on the Enterprise. 

If you're looking for Marriage Story in wearable form, you found it.