Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
We've come to accept that social media is the one place where we can hope to achieve true success.
An unexpectedly large number of "likes" can make the difference between a day when we hit the bottle and one where our cheeks merely glow with pride.
So I'm absolutely not disturbed to the point of ululating at the gods of Mars on learning that women aged 16 to 25 years old spend an average of five hours a week taking selfies.
See how I slipped that piece of information in? Yes, a UK study offers that young women dedicate an average of almost a whole night's sleep just to taking selfies.
This survey of 2,000 women was, so the Mirror tells me, sponsored by a site called FeelUnique.com. Therefore, as with almost every survey in the world, it's worth focusing one's periscope of perspective on the sponsoring entity that, in this case, exists to be "The Destination of Beauty."
Still, I find myself wanting to believe these numbers. The hours of selfie-taking are, allegedly, broken down into an average of three selfies a day, each one taking an average of 16 minutes. Yes, this includes weekends.
You might wonder why it would take anyone 16 minutes to immortalize their daily selves. Well, there's makeup to think about. Camera angle, too. And then there's lighting. You can't suddenly expect to look attractive when there's an awkward shadow across your face that makes you look like you're Adam Levine.
My own evidence in this matter is admittedly anecdotal. But I've seen far too many groups of women wafting around my neighborhood clutching the latest in fashion: the selfie-stick.
They stop at least three times, as they wander with all the aim of 50 Cent throwing a ceremonial first pitch, just to capture a different angle on their cheekbones.
FeelUnique's Newby Hands -- no, that's not the name of a tech device designed to free your hands so that you can take better selfies. It's the name of the company's editorial director -- told the Mirror: "It isn't about us becoming a nation of narcissists, but more a new way to share our ideas and inspirations."
She is so right. It's just that our ideas and inspirations all appear to revolve around a narcissism that even most artists would find depressing.
Naturally, you will look at the age range most at risk here and tell yourself that one of the reasons for all the selfie-objectification is the attempt to attract the target sex. Indeed, around 30 percent admitted that this was a motivation. But this means two-thirds are doing it for pure, unadulterated selfie-aggrandisement.
I use as my evidence factette that on average these 16- to 25-year-old women had 150 selfies on their phones., as well as the
I can still hear you sniffing, however. I can hear you snorting: "Youth, like drugs, is wasted on the young."
Let me disabuse you of your last dam of mature defense. Twenty-eight percent of all the women surveyed, regardless of age, admitted to taking at least one selfie a week.
For this I use as my evidence Kim Kardashian, who is not 16 to 25. She has just released a book called "Selfish."
This consists of 448 pages of her selfies. If that isn't a snapshot of our civilization, what is?