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You don't have the right to marry your laptop, Utah insists

Commentary: In a filing, Utah's Assistant Attorney General says that, among other things, your laptop cannot consent to marriage.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

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In today's world, many people's relationships with inanimate objects are among their most successful.

Sadly, the state of Utah doesn't believe these should lead to marriage. In particular, your relationship with your laptop.

As Fox 13 reports, Chris Sevier sued the state of Utah demanding the right to marry his laptop. He equated such a union with same-sex marriage. 

In response, Utah's Assistant Attorney General David Wolf insisted that the Constitution offered no such right. As well as declaring that Sevier has no standing as a plaintiff, Wolf requested that the case be dismissed because, well, how does a laptop say yes to a marriage proposal?

"A wedding ceremony where one party is entirely unable to consent is not a valid marriage," says the filing.

Wolf added: "Sevier cannot show plausible factual support for his allegation that the only purpose in denying him a marriage license in Utah County was discrimination based on his sexual preference for machines."

Sevier has something of a history with cases involving machines. In 2013, he tried to sue Apple because its devices display porn. This latest Utah case follows another case in which Sevier sued Utah in order to force internet service providers to automatically install porn filters. Sevier dropped that case.

Still, there have been humans who have successfully married inanimate objects. 

In 2009, a Japanese man married a video game character. In 2010, a Korean man married an animated pillow. And you must decide whether robots have feelings, as -- just this year -- a Chinese engineer married a robot he created himself. Each of these, of course, had dubious legal standing.

There are many ways of living happily ever after. Should you try to marry your laptop, however, what happens when the manufacturer releases an upgrade? Will that make it hard to be faithful?