I spent much of Saturday night wondering if any of the Final Four teams were in the least bit tolerable. (Answer: sadly not.)
However, my lack of enjoyment of this feast of commercialism was interrupted by the sight of Jeff Bezos' new envoy trying to get me excited.
If there is any human being less redolent of Bezos than Gary Busey, it is Edward Scissorhands.
So how odd to find Busey, the Oscar-nominated star of such greats as "The Gingerdead Man" and "The Celebrity Apprentice," plugging Amazon's latest plug-in,.
"If you're like me, you like talking to things," he began. To be honest, I'm partial to talking to myself. Things don't listen so well.
Still, Busey proved his object-conversation skills by having conversations with his lamp. And, quite naturally, his pants.
He then tried to talk with some fish. Which was quite meta-odd, as fish aren't things. They're beings. Yes, like corporations.
Even they, though, don't listen like Amazon's new Fire TV. After all, if your gadget doesn't listen, it really isn't a gadget any more. Even if, like my Siri, the gadget has no idea what I'm saying.
In Busey's case, he can't get Roku to listen to him. Or perhaps it's just never heard of Gary Busey.
His Amazon Fire has and this makes him happy.
Here, therefore, is why you should buy Amazon Fire TV: it has heard of you and it will make you happy.
At least I think that's what this ad is trying to say.