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Verizon's modest new message: Oh, we're just so much better

Technically Incorrect: To go along with its new logo, Verizon releases an ad that suggests the company is simply incapable of being shoddy. What's the matter with that?

Scream it from the heavens: Verizon is wonderful. Verizon/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.

Simplicity, honesty and joy.

These were the three words with which Verizon last week launched its sparkling new logo.

And just now it has unleashed a new ad, from which I can only deduce that Verizon would like to joyously, honestly assert that it has by far the best network in the US. Simply.

The opus offers examples of poorly made products of all kinds: shelves, luggage, AOL dial-up discs. I'm sorry, that last one is entirely inaccurate.

In any case, these poorly made products are contrasted here with Verizon's excellent, almost superhuman service.

As the voice-over explains, Verizon didn't build the self-proclaimedly best, most reliable network just to be better. It did it because better matters.

This is, indeed, an almost altruistic public service.

Then again, what is "better"? Whose better is better? Verizon has for many years claimed to have the best network, with that nice man in glasses wondering if you can hear him. (Oddly, it didn't mention a testing firm such as Root Metrics, which has often found Verizon's wireless service to be quite fine. But advertising can't always be bothered with footnotes.)

However, in March AT&T insisted that it has the strongest 4G LTE signals. Is that actually better?

As we noted at the time, claims such as these tend to be shaded and qualified in one's own favor. One must parse carefully between AT&T's additional chest-thumping that month that it has the "most reliable 4G LTE network," which differed just so from Verizon's long-time boast that it offers the nation's "most reliable network." T-Mobile, meanwhile, was saying it has the "fastest" network, with Sprint calling itself the "newest" network.

What a world it would be if better didn't matter. Imagine if we all had to put up with more or less the same service, more or less the same gadgets and more or less the same advertising from companies that tell us their service is better than everyone else's.

We wouldn't tolerate that for a moment, would we?