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Culture

The app that plays Nickelback when you try to contact your ex

Technically Incorrect: An amusing comedy video shows just how far technology has to go to truly be useful.

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Nickelblock may well be one of the most useful apps of all time. If it was real. Lady Products/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


The trouble with most notification systems is that they just don't know when to stop.

They have no idea what's important and what's just a sad app trying to attract attention.

They're like lovers who behave as if they don't know you at all.

My heart is therefore beating with a heady glee at a concept that's massaged my eyes. It's an app called Nickelblock. It plays Nickelback songs the minute you try to contact your ex.

Yes, perhaps Nickelback jokes are a touch tired. They must be if the Australian police are joining in with them. And yes, this is actually a comedy video.

However, it's the beautiful intent that is captivating.

We've all had exes who've stayed in our heads far longer than they've deserved. It's usually the ones who have treated us like Donald Trump treats Megyn Kelly.

It's usually the ones who trampled on our very spirit, left us just after both our parents were killed in a hurricane, slept with our best friend or had at least two other lovers they forgot to tell us about.

We still allow ourselves to believe that they're good people who have merely lost their way or been influenced by appalling mothers or siblings.

So along comes the Lady Products comedy team to reveal an app that truly understands your weakness and wants to help you conquer it.

Lady Products promises the Nickelblock "will lift you up within 15 seconds or less."

I feel sure that, with so many app developers waiting for that one big breakthrough to make them the very biggest bucks, this fine product will see the light of day, and bring light to so many lives very soon.