If you thought radiation-poisoned Spock was the pinnacle of weird Star Trek-themed Hallmark Christmas ornaments, then you didn't expect the company to choose a salt-vampire attack on Captain Kirk as the star of its 2016 offerings. Yes, Christmas is months away, but Hallmark just announced its new Keepsake ornaments late last week.
The episode "The Man Trap" features a salt-hungry shape-shifting creature that threatens the Enterprise crew. The scene depicted on the ornament comes near the end of the show when the salt monster attempts to kill Kirk with its hideous sucker-fingers.
The sculpt is impressively accurate, right down to Kirk's screaming face. The ornament plays dialogue from the scene, which does include William Shatner's spirited yelling. Nothing says peace, love and holidays quite like Spock saying, "It's killing the captain! Shoot it, Doctor, quickly!"
Hallmark says the Keepsake ornaments are designed to "help people capture memories and turn the Christmas tree into a holiday experience the whole family will enjoy." If your whole family enjoys looking at a Starfleet captain subjected to unimaginable pain by a ruthless alien, I want to come to your house for the holidays.
It makes sense for Hallmark to head back to the very first Star Trek episode that aired in 1966. This year marks the sci-fi juggernaut's 50th anniversary. Hallmark has really catered to the geek audience in recent years, offering ornaments for franchises ranging from "The Big Bang Theory" to Star Wars.
If monster holiday decorations are your thing, you might also want to check out Hallmark's decidedly creepy alien queen ornament from "Aliens." If you're an equal-opportunity Star Trek/Star Wars fan, then a glowing Death Star tree topper is just the thing you need floating above your screaming Kirk ornament.