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SNL brings back alien abductees for strange encounter

Commentary: Kate McKinnon, Ryan Gosling and Cecily Strong return to recount what it's really like when you've communed with beings up there.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


Three people. Two alien visitations. Only one suffered.

SNL/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

We spend so much time trying to contact alien beings up there in the great beyond.

Perhaps we don't spend enough time talking to those who might have already met them.

In its season premiere, "Saturday Night Live" decided to bring back three people who have been up there more than once and lived to tell the tale: Kate McKinnon, Ryan Gosling and Cecily Strong.

We first met these three in 2015, when we learned, for example, that little green people aren't green. In fact, McKinnon explained they were "gray with big, fat eyes and little mouths."

Now, here were our intrepid three again being interviewed by the NSA's fascinated interrogators.

This time around, Gosling described the aliens as "glowing beings made of beautiful light." Perhaps they've been watching "Project Runway" and picked up some tips.

But no. McKinnon still insisted they were still gray and had "big, stupid fat eyes." 

This, she said, was her "first second date since 2009."

While Gosling and Strong continued to offer a cosmic view of their abductors, McKinnon said their demeanor was like that of "shoppers storming Walmart on Black Friday."

She also described them as bottomless. In the "lacking a rear end" sense, you understand. Which, naturally led to some needless kneading of Gosling's posterior.

At this point, the performers were struggling. Several seemed desperate to burst into laughter, the "Blade Runner 2049" actor most of all.

We know, though, that this could all be a two-way street. If humans have been abducted up there, it may also mean that aliens have been down here. 

Which might surely explain one or two recent events.

It might also explain why NASA is prepared to pay six figures to the fine person who will be responsible for protecting Earth against aliens.