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Slowest Rube Goldberg machine requires a turtle and molasses

The Rube Slowberg machine takes its sweet time accomplishing almost nothing by using the slowest connections possible.

Amanda Kooser
Freelance writer Amanda C. Kooser covers gadgets and tech news with a twist for CNET. When not wallowing in weird gear and iPad apps for cats, she can be found tinkering with her 1956 DeSoto.
Amanda Kooser
2 min read
Rube Slowberg turtle
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Rube Slowberg turtle

A turtle takes its sweet time getting to the next step.

Video screenshot by Amanda Kooser/CNET

Most Rube Goldberg machines are frenetic creations. They involve a lot of furious action as a cascade of consequences drives something like a marble through a series of obstacles. They are designed to be excessively complicated while achieving only a minor goal. Inventor Bob Partington decided to chill out with his own Rube Goldberg machine, a device he calls the Rube Slowberg.

Partington created the gadget for a video released on October 27 for YouTube channel Field Day. It kicks off with a peppy mini-golf putt, but soon twiddles its thumbs as we wait for a bottle of molasses to pour out. If you don't think that's slow enough, just wait until it hits a literal crawl as a turtle with a spring-loaded contraption on its back wanders over to an edible morsel.

Naturally, the chosen soundtrack is Kanye West's "Drive Slow." Mercifully, the video takes advantage of fast-forwarding to get us through especially leisurely sections like waiting for a set of popsicles to melt so the golf ball can move onward toward its goal.

A Department of Motor Vehicles clock makes a cameo appearance in a sly reference to how a visit to the DMV office can suck up hours of your life. Still not slow enough for you? Just wait until you get to the part where grass grows.

This machine has some good company when it comes to unusual Rube Goldberg contraptions. We've seen a version that uses light instead of a ball, one made from Lego pieces and another that is a make-your-own straw for creating complicated sips of beverages.

It takes over six weeks for Partington's Rube Goldberg machine to complete its mission (I won't spoil the exact ending for you). In a world of speedy machines rushing to their conclusions, it's nice to step back and just embrace the journey. Perhaps this will start a trend. A Slow Moving movement.