Culture

'Say hello to my e-go': 10 funny first tweets we love

While many first tweets centered on dull daily details or confusion about what Twitter even does, Jedi Master tweeters treated their first 140-character messages like a night at the comedy club.

Leslie Katz Former Culture Editor

Leslie Katz led a team that explored the intersection of tech and culture, plus all manner of awe-inspiring science, from space to AI and archaeology. When she's not smithing words, she's probably playing online word games, tending to her garden or referring to herself in the third person.

Credentials

Third place film critic, 2021 LA Press Club National Arts & Entertainment Journalism Awards

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Bonnie Burton

Journalist Bonnie Burton writes about movies, TV shows, comics, science and robots. She is the author of the books Live or Die: Survival Hacks, Wizarding World: Movie Magic Amazing Artifacts, The Star Wars Craft Book, Girls Against Girls, Draw Star Wars, Planets in Peril and more! E-mail Bonnie.

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Leslie Katz

Bonnie Burton

March 20, 2014 5:45 p.m. PT

Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. To celebrate turning 8, Twitter on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy to look up anyone's first tweets. Yeah, we confess; we fell down the first-tweets rabbit hole fast. But at least you get to share in the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies. See any we missed? Let us know in the comments.

I hope the 17 fans on my Geocities page follow me here.
-- Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 1, 2010

Yeesh, Ape-lad. Is it not enough that I blog?
-- John Hodgman (@hodgman) April 10, 2008

Say hello to my e-go!
-- Joe Mande (@JoeMande) October 16, 2009

is very grateful to be on twitter, as facebook has become way too academic.
-- John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 19, 2009

Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me.
-- Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 24, 2010

from now on I need to be referred to as ? ... thanks
-- braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) February 9, 2011

Good to finally be on twitter. It was quite a struggle overcoming my phobia of the @ symbol.
-- Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) September 14, 2011

Tom DeLay, you sir, are no Patrick Swayze.
-- Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) September 23, 2009

Criminal scum of Twitter beware. Your reign of banal comments and villainous musings ends tonight!
-- The Batman (@TheBatman) April 6, 2010

In the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty. And I said, "Let there be text," and there was text; and I saw that it was gd.
-- God (@TheTweetOfGod) October 21, 2010