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MP3 Players

Satchels of pleasure: Advanced MP3 Players Soundbag

Hey, hoody! Ever considered that your Walkman mobile phone might not be loud enough to do justice to your impromptu set on whatever public transport you're lounging on today?

"Covet not the bag of thy neighbour, lest it be a SoundBag, in which case mince his face." It was these mysterious words that Scott of the Antarctic was heard to mumble minutes before his death in 1912. Many historians believe the comment was delusional. They point to the extreme weather conditions and the terrible psychological toll the hunger and exhaustion must have taken on Scott. But, today, given access to large computers, some experts have produced graphs that prove Scott was advertising an Advanced MP3 Players SoundBag (pictured).

Do you believe Scott was driven mad by the relentless blizzard beating against his fragile tent, or that he was simply the mouthpiece of a time-travelling marketing campaign?

Better known for importing exotic MP3 players from Far Eastern cities, Advanced MP3 Players has turned its hand to manufacturing. The SoundBag with PowerBank (£39) includes a portable speaker system that can blast civilians with your tunes of choice for over seven hours without a recharge. The bag uses an NXT flat-panel loudspeaker that's integrated into the sides of the carry case. The bag is compatible with, among others, the iPod, Creative Zen, Sony Bean and iRiver players. iPod owners are in luck because the bag will charge the iPod from its built-in dock connector.

Advanced MP3 Players report that the "sound quality produced by the built in speaker is impressive and is an immediate source of awe". Just like the tinny bleating of a hoody's MP3 phone on the bus is a source of awe. Full of awe. Awful..? Think again Advanced MP3 Players, think again. -CS