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Samsung's World Cup ends late (and badly)

Samsung releases the second half of its World vs. Aliens soccer match after the World Cup is over. Did the aliens win? Did the world end?

An animated Cristiano Ronaldo has time to smooth his hair. Samsung/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

I was musing this morning that Argentina's president, Cristina Fernandez, should be forced to resign.

In welcoming her country's World Cup squad home, after its gallant failure in Sunday's final, she admitted that she hadn't bothered watching the game.

Just as I was Googling "How to impeach an Argentinian president," I realized that none of this mattered. After all, Samsung's World XI was in the throes of playing a bunch of aliens from the planet Hurakan.

The latter was leading. It was clearly all over for Earth.

Should you think I am writing through confused dribble, might I explain that I'm referring to Samsung's (excessively) drawn-out campaign in which famous soccer players, kitted out in Samsung paraphernalia, attempt to save the world.

It feels like it's been going on for longer than Paul McCartney's career. We last left it with the aliens leading at half-time.

For reasons best known to itself, Samsung waited until the big game was over before releasing the second half.

Sadly, it's even duller than the Holland-Argentina semifinal. Animated, but not animating, versions of famous players waddle around as if they're in suits of armor -- which, in fact, they are.

Some of them, such as America's Landon Donovan and Colombia's Radamel Falcao, never made the World Cup at all.

Others, England's Wayne Rooney, for example, offered such irrelevant displays that they wouldn't make their local pub teams.

This Samsung game ends all too predictably, with miracles occurring and cultures being saved.

How much more bracing it would have been if, at least, the aliens had battered the earthlings into submission and forced self-driving cars and Google Glass upon everyone.