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Samsung's weirdest 'Apple is rotten' ad ever

Apparently, Apple phones just don't work. They make you suffer terribly. Once you get a Samsung, you perform a mating dance toward a mountain ram. At least that's what this new ad from Iceland says.

Is this an Apple I see before me? Samsung Iceland/YouTube Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

You are about to watch someone try to make a phone call with a fruit.

If this is something that might disturb you, please look away now.

However, if you're fond of fruit, art, fruit-art, ninjas, mountain rams, Scandinavia, or Samsung, please click away at the ad I've embedded and bathe in the art within.

This, you see, is a new ad for the Samsung Galaxy S4. (Thank you, Android Authority, for making my day more complete than I ever could have imagined.)

It reveals that it is hard to take an apple and type on its skin. At least, if you're hoping to call Aunt Felinda.

Even putting it to your ear and hoping that you will hear more than the echoes from the mountains doesn't seem to help.

It is then that my nonexistent Icelandic sees what seems to be the word "pig" in a caption. I assume that the suggestion is that Apple phones are stinky, smelly, and worthy only of slaughter.

However, taking the phrase to Google Translate, I receive: "Get per phone that understands pig."

I fear this might not be entirely accurate either. I cannot believe this man is trying to contact farm animals. But here's news of a man who is pleading guilty to having sex with a horse. For the second time. So who knows?

Perhaps the "p" is really a "b" and it's something to do with bigness. Indeed, I changed both the apparent "p" letters to "b" and Google Translate gives me: "Should get a phone that understands big."

That must be quite close, because Samsung's phones are larger, aren't they? Indeed, the next caption means: "Galaxy S4 understands Icelandic."

In any case, the clear implication is that iPhones don't work in the Icelandic mountains, while the Samsung Galaxy S4 turns you into a ninja.

You might think I've never done art criticism before, and you'd be right. But this opus clearly says that when you're up in the Icelandic mountains and want to express happiness, you dance with ninja-ish beings.

You might also think that my fleeting suggestion of animal attraction was gratuitous. But then this ad displays a scene of our Galaxy-toting hero performing what can only be a mating dance in the direction of some kind of mountain ram (some think it's a goat).

I therefore leave you now to freely interpret what you have just seen. For I feel sure that you have never seen anything like this before.