Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.
Samsung's new Galaxy S6 will be a wonderful phone. Unless it's disappointing.
It'll have exciting new features. Unless they're all fairly useless to the average human being.
It's bound to look and feel different. Unless, in fact, it'll have a feel that's a little too samey.
This is the glory of not knowing exactly what will be unveiled. There's a need, though, to ratchet up the hype. So Samsung has peppered its Twitter feed with a couple of teaser videos to keep your emotions simmering.
One, released yesterday, offers a deep, almost Microsoftian philosophy.
"The faster I am, the more that gets done," says a deeply confident voice. I worry that this isn't necessarily true.
For myself, the faster I am, the more likely it is that I'll make mistakes. The faster I run, the more out of breath I get. So what sort of speed is Samsung teasing here? Is this stepping onto Microsoft's suddenly hallowed territory of productivity?
Will this phone simply work at lightning speeds -- at least for the first few weeks before, as with all phones it seems, it slows to a sedate pace?
All Samsung will reveal for now is that its new phone will help you "give more to others." Because, at heart, we're all altruists desperate to get our self-centered noses out of our phones.
A second tease, released last week, insisted that the next Galaxy would reveal "great vision" and a "unique view."
When the phone is finally revealed, perhaps we'll all forget the life-changing promises that were made.
I do worry, though, that when a phone promises to give you more time, you'll only spend that time staring right back into that phone. To show your gratitude, of course.