Ever since a New Jersey psychiatrist wrote to tell me he was a fan of my work, I've been feeling rather disturbed.
Usually there's only one thing that can lift my spirits from such a malaise: data.
It's always such an uplift when one can find numbers that make one question the validity of humanity. As well as, of course, the validity of numbers.
Thankfully, Business Insider galloped to my rescue with some data it had gleaned about those who claim to be fans of Apple and Samsung.
It seems that there may be psychological differences between those who are committed to each brand.
The most joyous of these -- at least if you have respect for this data -- is that those who profess their liking for Samsung on Facebook are more emotionally committed to iTunes than those who "like" Apple.
Critics of iTunes believe that it's, well, messy, disorganized, and a trifle dated. Perhaps this is what caused more than twice as many Samsung likers than Apple likers to openly like Apple's service.
The data did, though, reveal some further joys.
Samsung fans are rather partial to Nicki Minaj and Flo from the Progressive ads. They are also slightly more likely to be female.
So we can only hope all these likers gave a very wide berth to, which portrayed women, as, well, drunks.
Apple fans, on the other hand, seem fond of Mr. Bean and Harry Potter. Which might indicate a simultaneous predilection for both the absurd and the magical.
While Samsung fans have a penchant for Walmart, Apple fans wouldn't dare, allegedly, offer allegiance to either it or Target.
Sometimes, you really can be too cool for discounts.
You might be wondering how on earth this data was generated. Well, Business Insider secured a Likester account. This is a company that promises "marketing on steroids."
Its tools allow you to bulk up on your intimate understanding of brands by seeing which Facebook "likes" overlap with other Facebook "likes."
Apple has 8.8 million likers, while Samsung Mobile USA has almost 23 million.
Apple fans do, however, always seem to have a maniacal commitment to the brand. Some might find that this perception is reinforced by the fact that -- unlike the relatively active Samsung -- Apple appears never to have posted anything on its Facebook page.