On its various digital channels, ITV shows three hours of Jeremy Kyle every day. That means there are 15 hours worth of glorious chav-baiting each week that we can't watch because we're busy writing terrific stories here. So what we need is some sort of device that can store massive amounts of non-ironic velour tracksuits and chunky gold identity bracelets. Luckily, Sagem has come to the rescue with a 500GB, twin-tuner Freeview+ PVR.
The ability to record the very scrapings of society's barrel is just the start. Sagem claims the 67500T is also eco-friendly, which means we'll still have a planet for people to argue on in 100 years. The PVR uses less than 2W in standby and around 18W when it's on. We think that's decent enough, but we would like to see the standby figure stand at less than 1W.
Being a Freeview+ certified machine means it does need to sleep with one eye open, however. Freeview+ is the free rival to Sky+ and offers many of the same features, such as series link and accurate recordings, which can adjust the timer if a programme over-runs because Andy Murray is still trying to beat his opponent after every other player at Wimbledon has gone home to sleep. If you miss anything, you can simply rewind live TV, for as long as two hours, assuming you've been watching the same channel without changing for that length of time.
Sagem has seen fit to include an HDMI output on this model, which should ensure you get the best possible picture on your HD TV. There's also a USB socket designed to enable you to copy photos and MP3s to the device's hard disk. More exciting though is the ability to transfer recordings up to 4GB in size to a portable memory card. You know what that means? Jeremy Kyle in your pocket -- that's what. There's also a picture-in-picture option, which means you can find out who the father is while still keeping up with news and current affairs on another channel.
The 67500T costs about £180, but what price can you put on understanding a culture of people whose social pursuits are so totally different to our own? Think of it as enabling your cultural awakening, with some help from those all-important lie-detector results.