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Resumes, recruiting, and open source tom foolery

Javier makes a point by making a joke.

Dave Rosenberg hates getting emails from would-be employees who obviously haven't researched his company to know what MuleSource does, how they'd add value, what Dave does (He's CEO, but that doesn't mean he makes all the hiring decisions), etc.

I concur, though not as strenuously as Dave. It's not very hard to figure out what I care about and what sort of person my company, Alfresco needs.

All of which made me laugh at this "job request" from Javier Soltero, CEO of Hyperic and future sales grunt at MuleSource. Javier clearly gets these requests, too, since he writes them as well as he does his standard "I am an Nigerian prince" emails (Hey, everyone needs a side job):

Dear Mr. Rosenberg,

Do you need a strategically-tactical, salesy product genius who can help you achieve unmeasurable goals while understating expectations?

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Javier Soltero, experienced rookie, Puerto Rican, and a fan of your earlier death metal work. I believe my skills in coconut mashing, ninjitsu, and open sorse will most definitely be of use to your organization.

I apologise for the unsolicited email, and for my british spelling of some key words, but I feel compelled to share with you my background and interests in the Mule. I see from your blog that you enjoy ?the facebook?. I have sent you a cupcake and a beer as a token of my interest in working with you. I also wrote on your super fun wall.

I would be happy and rejoiceful in the holiday season to have the opportunity to work with you to take [your company here] to [insert goal-ish sounding thing]. Please do contact me so we can have further discussion. Attached is my resume in Wordperfect 5.0 format. Please poke me on the facebook, or reply via email so we can continue this most pressing conversation.

With warmest regards,


p.s. Mr Asay, I know this correspondence is addressed to Mr. Rosenberg, but please substitute names and companies and consider yourself also a recipient of this kindest needful request. Also please replace the ?death metal? references with ?morrisey?

Thanks for the laugh, Javier. It's just too bad that it hits so close to home. (Btw, you're hired. Oh, wait - you probably want to finish up with your current employer, taking it on to an IPO or something silly like that. Well, when you're done kicking tale at Hyperic, come over to Alfresco. :-)