Snoop Dogg eloquently said: "I don't know what you heard about me, but a [woman] can't get a [expletive] outta me, I drive a Cadillac, wear my perm cause I'm a G, and I'm a [expletive] P.I.M.P."
Some Crave staffers swear by this mantra, but those of us who can't quite live the dream of professional misogyny should rejoice: you no longer need enormous cars with Tokyo Flash., a ridiculous hair style or the brightly coloured hide of a dead mink to be a pimp -- you don't even need a flock of loyal prostitutes. Just get yourself one of these bad boys: a Pimp Jive Turkey watch from
It's basically just a watch, but it has a unique way of showing the time. Little green LED light dots circle the face of the watch before one dot settles on the hour and the other settles, flashing, on the minute. Now that's pimpin'. It's also got a good weight to it, so it could add a great deal of momentum to the swing of your pimp hand.
The words Pimp and Jive Turkey seem an odd choice of name for the watch. If something is pimpin', it's supposed to be cool, but if someone is a jive turkey, they're a bit of an idiot. They might as well have called it the Funky Loser.
Still, we'll forgive Tokyo Flash this indiscretion as it also has watches called the Pimp Pleasure Seeker, the Pimp Trip the Light Fantastic and two versions of watch called the Pimp Pimpin ain't easy. They're all available via the Tokyo Flash Web site for around £85. If you're interested, get one of your women of negotiable affection to buy one for you. -RR