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Culture

Peyton Manning's got nothing to do, lament AT&T and DirecTV

Technically Incorrect: In new ads selling the NFL Sunday Ticket service, we are supposed to take pity on the retired quarterback.

Technically Incorrect offers a slightly twisted take on the tech that's taken over our lives.


He's bored. How sad.

DirecTV/YouTube screnshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Who feels sorry for Peyton Manning?

I'm not sure I do.

Last year, he won a Super Bowl ring while waddling about as his defense did most of the work.

Now, however, he's retired and AT&T and DirecTV would like you to feel sad that the former Bronco and Colt has nothing to do.

In a series of ads, we see and hear Lionel Ritchie intoning "Peyton On Sunday Mornings" to the tune of the old Commodores hit "Easy," while Manning generally acts like an old man lost.

In one ad, Manning calls his younger brother -- and Giants quarterback -- Eli.

He wants him to come over and watch the games on DirecTV's NFL Sunday Ticket. Oddly enough, Peyton has forgotten that Eli still plays, you know, football. Of a sort, at least.

In another ad, the elder Manning is sitting on a park bench. What else can he do but sell the DirecTV package to a stranger? It such a wonderful service. It lets you stream out-of-market games on any device, even if you don't have a DirecTV satellite subscription.

The stranger has some advice for Manning. That advice is that Manning has no idea how amusing retirement can be.

One of the more memorable elements here is Manning's dressing gown, which he seems to wear all the time.

There's a third ad, in which he goes to the supermarket in it and bores people there too.

Manning has mined his perhaps manufactured "aw, shucks" persona for some years. This week, he was cleared by the NFL after a no-doubt rigorous seven-month investigation into alleged Human Growth Hormone use.

I suspect, therefore, that before long we'll see Manning populating our screens on a Sunday morning once more and offering his pithy, if vanilla, thoughts.

I do hope he'll wear that dressing gown.