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Now on Facebook: Lady Gaga vs. Obama

President Obama and Lady Gaga are in a race to be the first to have 10 million Facebook fans. And it's close.

On today's ever more open Web, to whom do you want to be closer? Is there someone for whom you wish to express your affection, your desire, or your admiration, perhaps in the hope of getting some in return?

May I give you just two choices? President Obama or Lady Gaga.

Perhaps you feel I am limiting you too much. But this is an issue of such importance, one that will show just what the world sees when it looks in the mirror.

On the one hand, we have someone who is trying to rectify so many wrongs. Someone who wants you to know that, yes, anyone can. On the other, we have Barack Obama, who is also trying to do the same thing.

Here's how things stand right now. (Though these things never really stand. They are a constant dance.) Barack Obama, president of the United States, has--as I touch the reactive parts of my MacBook Pro--9,116,672 fans on Facebook. Famed exhibitionist singer of gym music, Lady Gaga, has 9,152,517.

Do you really love her more than anything in the world? CC Domain Barnyard/Flickr

Why is this significant? Well, no one living has 10 million fans on Facebook. Not Justin Bieber. Not George W. Bush. Which means that this race is vital and might well be decided over the coming hours and days.

Should you not have examined the numbers very closely, Lady Gaga is winning.

You will either decide that this is a fair reflection of those who participate in a superficial medium in which they post pictures of their vacations, their excesses with libations and their babies with bongs.

Or you will decide that, because you tend to believe everything Mark Zuckerberg says, Facebook needs to be seen as a deeply important social movement, one that will eclipse all other forms of searching, communicating, or being.

Look at the candidates. One wishes to make energy renewable and health care available. The other expends energy without end and would dearly love to excite you to the degree that health care would be unavoidable.

But please don't let me influence you.

Of course, I understand that you could balance your rear end on the spikes of a fence and declare your fandom for both of these world figures.

But wouldn't that be like not declaring just where your ultimate respect, your ultimate love, your ultimate sense of style and wit lie? And wouldn't that be like allowing others to make the decision for you? You know, as you have so often done on voting day.

So, please, hotfoot it to Facebook, hotfinger your feelings, and may the winner be a worthy one.