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Nintendo DS gets romantic

Harlequin Books becomes the first non-Japanese publisher to enjoy its books on the Nintendo DS. The interactive features seem certain to create a new experience in every home and love hotel.

Finally, they were alone.

He looked at her with those eyes, even more piercing than the epee he used when fencing. He took her in his arms. In an instant, Michiko's nose was but an inch from his and her fate seemed even more closely entwined with that of the man she loved, Beaulieu Riddenbacher.

Just as she thought he was going to kiss her with those big lips as soft as the pillows at the love hotel, he whispered in her ear: "Did you know we're being ranked?"

Harlequin on Nintendo DS

She felt her heart hit her shirt with all the strength of a torrid tsunami. She knew people out there would be registering their opinions about their tryst. She was a lover of technology as well as a lover of men. She had always had her own secret affair with her Nintendo DS. It didn't make her attractive to men necessarily, but it brought her to a heightened state of being every time.

That's why her thyroid pounded like a murderous hippopotamus' conscience when she heard that Harlequin Books, publisher of such romantic novels as "Tough To Tame" and "His Convenient Virgin Bride," was to be the first non-Japanese publisher to be inserted into Nintendo DS in Japan.

Michiko, with technology as the negligee to the naked vulnerability of her heart, shivered at the thought that "DS Harlequin Selection: Love Stories for Grown-Ups" would comprise 33 of the finest romantic novels penned by Harlequin authors and the New York Times best-selling novelists.

She knew just what touch can do for romance. So here was the touch screen facility that would allow women of many ages and levels of frustration to have a romantic Nintendo concierge.

This concierge would allow her to use her fingers to find stories with just the right mood, just the right heroine, and just the right story recaps. Nintendo would even let her choose the right background music so that when her lips finally met those of Beaulieu she would not be hearing anything penned by that hairy monster Kurt Cobain.

Yes, her love with Beaulieu would be ranked by other readers over the sun-kissed waves of Wi-Fi. But, she thought, better to be ranked by the Wi-Fi than by the wifey.

In any case, Beaulieu said he was separated and they would soon be divorced. His wife, you see, just hated how much time he spent on his Nintendo DS. Love would soon win out. It always does, especially when the union becomes interactive.