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NFL coach tries to sell Xbox screenplay idea to Hollywood

New Orleans Saints' head coach, Sean Payton, hires famed agents CAA to sell a screenplay idea, in which a little boy controls the outcome of NFL games with a refurbished Xbox.

When you hear an NFL coach uttering the phrase "screenplay," you expect he has a scowl on his face and his team is 3rd and 7.

However, according to The Times-Picayune, New Orleans Saints' head coach, Sean Payton, has had a full-contact drill with his artistic side and penned an outline for a movie screenplay.

Because it's such a fine idea, or because he has just the right connections, Payton has hired famed Hollywood agents CAA to fulfill his dream of Oscar contention. Which might come slightly sooner than Super Bowl contention.

You will, I know, love the story. It revolves around a little boy whose grandfather gives him a special refurbished Xbox with whizzo magical powers.

This Xbox can control the outcome of NFL games.

The New Orleans Saints. Might their poor play last season suggest they were already controlled by someone's Xbox? CC JaseMan/Flickr

I have not read Payton's four-page outline, so I cannot tell you whether this Xbox was, indeed, refurbished by Johnny Fourfingers in Vegas. However, I do wonder about the moral dilemmas this little boy will face when confronted with vast and complex issues.

Do you use your Xbox to make sure Buffalo's Terrell Owens drops 11 catches in a playoff game? Do you push its little controls to give New England head coach Bill Belichick a permanent toothy grin and happy-go-lucky demeanor on the sideline?

And, most importantly, do you allow Brett Favre to play for 17 different teams in a single season, so that he can have a welcome and a retirement press conference every week?

"The Xbox Kid," as it has been provisionally entitled, could turn out to be one of the finest moral education movies of our decade.