New site measures your shagability
Shagscore.com claims that it has an extraordinary shagadelic algorithm that will tell you if your dating plans are likely to result in, well, a result.
I am sure that, like me, you have already bought your flowers and used a very special body wash.
However, how can you be sure that your Valentine's Day--or any other date night--will go off with an appropriate timbre?
Please, then, go down on your knees and give thanks to Shagscore.com. Of all the days in the world, Shagscore decided to launch today, so that your Valentine's Day can be more of a sure thing.
Shagscore has a very simple--and surely scientific--premise. Once you enter details of your dating plans, Shagscore's "shagadelic" algorithm is able to calculate your chances of, well, supreme consummation.
In order to test this site's fine service, I entered certain plans for my evening. I entered that I would be taking my lover to Boulevard--a frightfully pricey little joint not far from Google's San Francisco offices. I then said I would be ushering my paramour to the Hotel Vitale.
I was depressed to discover that, despite an outlay that would not see much change from $1,000 (a decent glass of red at Boulevard is around $20), my Shagscore score was a mere 6. Which the site classifies as "OK."
Worse, the site condescendingly offered that "the force could be stronger with you."
I am not overly depressed, however. You see, I lied. Would I tell Shagscore where I'm going for Valentine's night? Would I reveal that it will be In-N-Out Burger and a bottle of champagne?
No, I would not.
The site might have given me a mere 2 (CREEPER!!) And that would, indeed, have made me very sad.