To get you to break your nasty habit, they just have to find the right trigger.
You're addicted, you see, to that Apple Appleness thing and you know you want to stop.
Microsoft has tried several routes, even telling you that.
Redmond's new puppy Nokia has already suggested that.
But now the Finns would like you to know that if you buy an iPad, your life will be permanently scarred, because you'll live the rest of it in the shade. Oh, and your dog will hate you.
A new ad for the Lumia 2520 tablet shows the difficulties of owning a dachshund and an iPad.
The dachshund just wants to play outside. But what sort of dachshund owner plays with their dog without taking their iPad along?
Here, then, is the existential problem: the iPad doesn't work very well when the sun is shining. Which means that you disappear into the shade, leaving your dog to sniff around other people.
Painfully, these other people are also forced into the shade because everyone, everyone has an iPad.
But then your dog finds the one wise man who has bought a Lumia 2520. It's perfectly capable of being enjoyed under the brightest of skies.
The ad is rather charmingly done and I'm a sucker for a happy ending, especially if it involves pizza.
I'm still left a touch troubled, however. Why isn't it possible to take your Lulu for a walk in the park without taking your iPad or your Lumia?
Have we all gone quite mad? (Answer: yes.)