Friday is National Doughnut Day, and if there isn't a specific national doughnut already, there's really only one deserving candidate. It's the pink-frosted, rainbow-sprinkled ring of sugar that turns every "Simpsons" fan into a drooling Homer clone.
Everything about the pink sprinkled "Simpsons" doughnut drips decadence. The Pepto-Bismol hue of the frosting. The my-compulsive-baker perfectly placed scattering of rainbow sprinkles. How the thing gleams out of the box, outshining the glazed Krispy Kremes, the jelly-filled bismarcks, the custardy Boston cremes. A glamorous Barbie Doll among faceless mannequins, this doughnut has it all, and it knows it.
Here are 7 magical reasons this is the one ring that rules them all.
1) Doughnut hell is the best hell
In the 1993 "Treehouse of Horror" episode, devil Ned Flanders sends Homer to hell for eating a doughnut, and his punishment there is to be eternally force-fed more of them. The twist, of course -- this is like throwing Br'er Rabbit in the brier patch. Steel-stomached Homer finds this hell to be a true heaven.
2) They come Homer-sized
You can get pink sprinkled donuts in many places, but if you want one that's the size of a small child, drool your way to Universal Studios Florida or Hollywood. There, near the awesomely terrifying "Simpsons" 4D ride, is Lard Lad Donuts, which sells the Big Pink for $5 -- not bad considering it's the size of an entire cake.
3) They're waterproof. Sort of.
Even bigger than the cake-size donuts at Lard Lad is this inflatable pink sprinkled doughnut pool float from the aptly named Big Mouth. Plop down in the doughnut hole, rest your Coppertone-smeared arms on the sprinkles and lazily float downriver until you get hungry. Don't try eating the float, though. From the sight of the giant bite in one side, someone already failed. Homer, was that you?
4) In the future, they'll fall from the sky
In 1994's " Treehouse of Horror," Homer's time machine keeps landing him in terrifying timelines, until it takes him to one where the family is fabulously wealthy and annoying sisters-in-law Patty and Selma are dead. But when Marge doesn't know what a doughnut is, Homer flees, never knowing that in this timeline, doughnuts fall from the sky like rain. Beautiful artery-clogging rain.
5) In Vegas, they've come to life
The Big Pink Donut is a new Las Vegas food truck that you can hire for weddings, school events or festivals, and it officially launches on National Doughnut Day. In a city of pyramids and castles, it's not even the weirdest structure on the block.
6) They rock
In 2007, when "The Simpsons Movie" soundtrack came out, a special limited-edition version was not only doughnut-shaped, but smelled like a doughnut. Tracks include "His Big Fat Butt Could Shield Us All" and "Doomsday is Family Time."
7) You can make your own
There are numerous recipes online for "Simpsons"-specific donuts, but really, any recipe will do as long as you stock up on pink frosting, rainbow sprinkles and Homer-strength stomach soothers. Not a baker? Most big chains mimic a "Simpsons" doughnut pretty well, including Dunkin' Donuts.