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Motorized bumper boats are in need of water guns, shields, overall pimpability

Bumper boats are for kids. Not grown-ups. I have a problem with that.


I sometimes have a penchant for posting about odd little vehicles on Crave, like motorized bathtubs and pirate ship pool toys. Some of the time, they tragically aren't big enough to fit grown-ups (no matter how youthful our attitudes may be). This $99.99 Bumper Boat is no exception. It's basically an inflatable pool chair that happens to have a motor and steering equipment attached so that you can chase people around and smack into your friends--but it's kid-sized. Most of us would probably sink it, unfortunately.

It's also not very functional, aside from the motor. It's lacking some essential features for any kind of "bumper" vehicle, namely obnoxious flashing lights, a cup holder (last time I checked, you couldn't get DUIs in the pool!), and a highly effective water cannon. It could use some musical infrastructure, too. Shame, shame.

Nevertheless, I hope this trend of motorized pool toys catches on. That way, us lazy pool-partygoers won't have to paddle from the deep end to the tiki bar to get refills on our mai tais.