You may not know what a slow loris is, but you'd probably have a good time partying with one. The big-eyed primates, natives to Southeast Asia, will choose the most alcoholic drink offered when given a choice -- just like your college buddies.
A study published Wednesday in the journal Royal Society Open Science reports that a slow loris and two aye-aye lemurs (another adorable primate species) were given a choice of sugary solutions laced with different amounts of alcohol. Even when the order of the drinks was switched around, the animals all went for the most intoxicating liquids, even pawing for more in empty containers. Again, JUST LIKE YOUR...uh, never mind.
But unlike human drinkers, the critters didn't get tipsy. "No signs of inebriation were observed," wrote study co-author Samuel Gochman, a biology student at Dartmouth College.
And apparently they never learned the "make sure you drink enough water" rule. While the slow loris sipped away on the drinks that mimicked fermented nectar, she shunned the control drink, good ol' H2O, displaying "a relative aversion to tap water."
You might, too, if you were a slow loris. Indonesia-based Slow Loris Rescue says the animals are so cute they're often illegally kept as pets, and traders go as far as to clip their teeth off to make them easier to handle. That sad state of affairs is enough to drive anybody to the hard stuff.