We need to talk about love.
It is a wonderful thing. It makes the world go around. But sometimes it doesn't live here anymore.
It is then that bad things can happen.
You might get cut off by your ex, your gym membership suddenly inactive. You might hear from friends that you did none of the work in the relationship. You might hear that you were mean and cruel.
On the other hand, your ex might actually be the mean and cruel one.
For you might suddenly find that your passwords, bank account numbers, and even that photo of you wearing nothing but a caring grin on a remote Indian beach will suddenly see the light of more days than are comfortable.
I say this not from personal experience, but from information provided by the security experts at McAfee.
As BuzzFeed reveals it, McAfee believes that no laptop is safe from a lover scorned.
The problem, it seems, is that 95 percent of people believe that their data and photos are safe with their partner.
This must be the 95 percent who have never seen "Fatal Attraction."
It seems that a vengeful 12 percent of lovers will leak all sorts of personal information at the drop of an iChat. (Don't most people get dumped by iChat these days?)
And you should certainly heed the hurt voice of any lover who threatens to leak your particulars.
McAfee says 60 percent of those who threaten actually follow through. Doesn't loyalty mean anything anymore?
All of these fascinating nuggets of loving joy come from McAfee's deep analysis, touchingly entitled "Love, Relationships, and Technology: When Private Data Gets Stuck in the Middle of a Breakup."
There is surely little doubt that for all the good that the digital world has spawned, it has also escalated world levels of neurosis.
Who can be surprised, then, that 12.5 percent of those who exposed some of their ex-lover's intimate information merely did it because said ex posted a picture with another lover?
This rivals the 14.1 percent who did it because the lover called off their wedding.
You may find yourself emotionally exhausted on reading these numbers. What might your various exes still be planning, in the event that they discover you have a new lover or even a new benefit-laden friend?
You might also wish to prepare the speech you will give to your new, bright and shiny fiance in explanation of the naked-handstand-while-holding-a-bathroom-plunger shot that may suddenly appear in public view.
Please don't say I didn't warn you.
I believe in a thing called love. However, I never forget it was sung by the Darkness.